YOU+ME.x { glue♥ }

Touch Your Toes { ♥ }

2012-02-15T01:06:00.002Z

Listening to: Travis Porter - Ayy Ladies (Feat. Tyga)

Mood: Good!

Time: 1.08am

Had a great day today/yesterday! As you guys know, it was Valentines day, and I spent it with my besssssssst friend Aaminah :) We went Westfields, bumped into some people lol, and um bleached my hair! I'm officially blonde now :O Tomorrow I'ma finish dying my hair though, then apply for Linklaters for work experience. Tehee!

Here's some photos of today. :3 (Before I went blonde)

You and I ♥

I Will Love You 'Till The End { ♥ }

2012-02-13T14:50:00.002Z

Listening to: Tori Kelly - Dear No One

Mood: Eh.

Time: 2.50pm

I don't know how I feel lately, but I know for sure I haven't been very happy. Last week was one of my worst weeks in history. Everything was becoming worse and worse. I kept losing things, emotionally and materially. I just don't know how to cope with this. I want to cry but I ask myself, what am I crying about?

Let's look on the emotional side.

I want something, but I'm too afraid, too ashamed, to embarrassed to say it out loud. Probably. Or simply, I don't know what I want, but just something. I guess maybe I have too much pride or an ego to state what I want, but isn't that contradicting? If I was brave as I state that I am, I wouldn't be afraid, or ashamed or embarrassed to say what I want, right? I'd just flaunt it out, walk around with my wounds open and let everyone know what's up.
So here it is: I want someone that'll stick with me through and through, 'till the end. Forever. Forever doesn't exist, but I want this person to make it exist. Make forever feel real. To me, at least.

The other day I looked through my old booth pictures book, where I stuck the booth pictures in, there were a few sheets I still needed to stick in so I thought I did that. I looked over all the photos, remembering certain memories I had with each person that was in there. Some great, some bad, I'm glad it happened at all... Then came the pictures of me and him. I looked at it and laughed at all the quirky and silly faces we were making, it was cute. I even tweeted Erika to take a look at them too because she had a set of her own. I missed our fun moments. I'm glad it happened at all.

Today I went back on my archive on Tumblr to try download some songs because my music list got wiped... for an unknown reason I do not know. I came across a few conversations that was of me and him. It was cute. I couldn't help but smile at the stupidness we used talk about, like penguins and giraffes, kitchen bitches and tree demons. We were one weird couple, ey?

I guess it hurts to know that you're not like that any more and you've changed, completely. Why? I don't know the answer and probably never will. I don't know what's up with me lately that's making me feel like the way I feel right now. I feel like I can change you back the way you were, when you were with me, but realistically I know there's no chance, because who am I to change the way you are? I'm no one, especially to you. I don't know why I'm still holding on this little bit of hope, hoping you can change, hoping you'll realise what a jerk you've been and one day repent for your mistakes and ask for forgiveness. Realistically, it'll just never happen, because with your ego, there's no turning back. But I just keep hoping, even when I know it won't happen.

After everything, all the things I've found out about you, the real truth, I don't understand how can I still be here? When you've already moved on, long time ago. But I'm still here. I hate to admit it but it's the truth. Nothing but the sad truth.

You and I ♥

I Don't Know Who You Are Any more { ♥ }

2012-02-05T16:16:00.007Z

Listening to: Cherish - Invader

Mood: Okay.

Time: 4.16pm

I'm not holding your heart no more,

And I know I am not the one you're fighting for.

I used to be your baby girl and not some kind of stranger,
So I know it gotta be some invader.

So, yesterday was a waste of time. All I want to know is why? Why did you lie? Why did you leave her? Why did you run away? Why are you currently hiding from the truth? Are you afraid? Are you afraid to face the consequences? There's so much I want to ask, but how do I phrase them to you? Where do I begin? Do I jump straight into the situation? Or do I ask of your well-being? "Hey, how are you? How's life going for you?"

Is it weird for me to still care about you? That I don't want to see you hurt and I'm willing to try help you from your wrongs? That I'm giving this a chance for you to try make up for your doings? That I am willing to forgive all your wrongs? This is unusual for me to do so... I'm usually cold hearted and don't give a shit of what you've done, especially, what you've done. But I'm still here, hoping you're okay, praying to Buddha that he will lead you down the right path and far from the wrongs. Is there an explanation for this? Or simply that maybe there's still feelings left? I don't want to think there is, I don't want to think I've been hiding them for so long that it's finally coming up to the surface. I just want them to be gone if they're still there. It's not benefiting me or you, so there's really no purpose of them to still be lingering around.

To find out you were a completely different person from what you shown me makes my heart sink. To find out nearly everything we've shared was a lie hurts. To know I gave my all in this and you've never gave me the truth is painful. Just... why? I don't understand. Why would someone do that to me? Why would you do that to me? What have I done to fall for a liar that won't even give me the truth but I have to find out from peers? It just hurts altogether that during the time we dated, I loved someone I thought I loved, but not the real thing. I hate to know my mind is still pondering all the possible why's and what if's and other possible questions that can pop up. I honestly don't know any more. And I'm finding it hard to believe anything anyone says now. What if everything around me was a lie and they're all doing this just to mock me and my kindness that I give to them? What is real and what is fake?

You and I ♥

Let Me Be Your Bad Habit { ♥ }

2012-01-29T19:13:00.003Z

Listening to: Tiffany Evans - U Got A Woman

Mood: Refreshed.

Time: 7.14pm

How are you? Happy new year guys! It's been a very long while since I've posted, eh? My life? Hmm, for the past few months I've reflected back and I guess, I've learnt a lot of things about myself and other people too. I feel much better than I did in my last post, that's for sure! :)

My life has been, well, a little hectic the past few months. I recently sat two exams; Sociology and Psychology, which may I add I think went quite well for me :) I get the results in March, so definitely I'll update you guys on that. I've gotten a new fringe, new look? Dyed my hair lighter, but I do plan to go blonde soon! My mom gave me the OK on that, but I think I need to be reassured that it is an OK for sure, LOL. Um, for Christmas, my dad bought me an iPhone (at last!) hahaha, and I had a received A LOT of spending money which lasted a little after New Years. ;) I mainly bought clothes though, and some new vans! My dad's been very generous to me lately, which is a good thing... but he talks to me like a 5 year old and I do not like that at all. He drags his voice and speaks in a weird way and I'm just like "..." Ok. Lol?

College? Ugh, it's a hell hole I'd say, but I guess that's just less distraction for me if I just keep myself to myself, know what I mean? Just a year and a bit left and hello uni! I've learnt not to trust so easily, well in my college, in particular. Everyone seems to be so fake and bitch about each other behind their backs but could never say anything in front of their faces? But then when I confront someone in their face I'm called "rude"?... ok soz 4 not bein 2faced xoxoxo. I honestly don't have time to deal with such petty situations in my college. They're not going to help me achieve my grades, nor are they going to contribute to my life later on. Bitches are not needed. Especially curious hoes. Casj.

Social life... hm, same ol' same ol'. I've found a lot of lies and truths these past months and it just hurts. To know someone would lie to you for their own benefit whereas you're held in the dark. It hurts. But whatever, because at the end of the day, I find out and I'ma keep my head up high, letting them know I'm still okay. Personally, I don't understand lying. They say people lie to protect you... but when they find the truth, wouldn't it hurt more that you've lied to them? Iuno, but it's always been truth over lies to me. I just can't stand liars.

That's pretty much the few months summed up, I guess. Until then. :)

You and I ♥

Love Is A Sickness. Can I Get A Witness? { ♥ }

2011-10-24T15:04:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Tablo - Bad

Mood: ...

Time: 3.04pm

It's been a while I blogged. I don't think I'll blog as much any more since exams are coming up and so this may be the last post for a while. I'm currently on half term and revising for my Psychology exam which is in a week's time. I don't think I'm ready for it, and I'm predicted an A... I don't get any of this. Maybe stress is kicking in a little, maybe because I'm a little vulnerable right now, or I'm genuinely just stressed. Who knows.

Yesterday it ended. Two months. It's not a lot, but it meant a lot to me I guess. Maybe it's just the heartbreak kicking in, I'm not too used to it, and I was never too good at handling break ups. Maybe that's why I feel vulnerable, I feel weak. I haven't stopped crying from yesterday, but I guess that's just something that'll help lessen the pain, right? Crying releases chemicals in the brain to lessen the impact of the feeling... or something like that. I hope that's true, because I've probably cried a river worth of tears or something. There's so many reasons why we ended, but I just wanted to hold on. Even though you were treating me like shit, I just wanted to hold on. But I can no longer hold on any more, and I feel empty. I know that's weak of me to say, because I'm usually hard headed, but I guess the ending of a relationship never was in my favour. I always found it hard to end it, so I never really did the last part. But on the brighter side, I'm glad we're over, you'll get the space you wanted and I wouldn't have to force myself to give it to you and feel so miserable about it. I won't feel so jealous over silly things because you're no longer mine to claim. I just need to get over this crying phase and I'll be back to normal... I hope. I don't know how long this will last, but I'll be okay.

I know you'll be okay, you're a boy, you don't feel as much emotions girls do, it's better for guys when a relationship ends. They get over girls in a week and move on. Sometimes I wished I was a guy. I wouldn't have to go through this for so long. I hope you don't turn out like me, locked up inside your room and blocking out reality. That's me for a while, I guess.

I don't know when I'll open up again. I'm afraid to try.

You and I ♥

I'm Sorry For Neglecting You { ♥ }

2011-10-09T22:49:00.003+01:00

Listening to: NAK x Wy-i - Night Sky

Mood: Mmm~

Time: 10.49pm

It's been less than three days we haven't spoke, to be honest, I didn't know what to feel. At first I felt like I didn't give a shit, then I was a little worried, then it was neutral... my emotions and feelings were just going all over place and it was unstable. You weren't on yesterday, but we were both busy so I guess that was excusable. You weren't on today either so I began to worry, for what? You're old enough to look after yourself, quoted by Awadh, lol. :) Then you came on, three hours ago. I was contemplating on wither to start the conversation or not, I didn't want to start it because I always started the conversation after an awkward ending, but I also wanted to start it because I knew you wouldn't, but I was wrong this time.

You apologised for the lack of communications lately and said you wanted some space, a break, from us. How did I knew this was going to come? I was thinking the same too... You said you were failing in college, and our arguments every week were piling on the stress. I felt guilty, for getting angry all the time, for always finding a flaw in our conversation. I didn't feel too good. I felt like the worst girlfriend ever. But you cleared it up, it wasn't a break up, it was just a break. What's the difference, I thought. You said you knew exactly how I felt because you were crying too. You said we were still going to talk and see each other. It seemed like you didn't know the definition of having a break, lol. Having a break is literally not talking to your significant other for a while, until things start to work out... you still want to spend time with me and what not, but just not as much due to college. I understand that, I need it too. Silly boy, crying over silliness. I said stop crying because there's nothing to cry about, it's not like we were actually breaking up. You're not leaving me and I'm not leaving you. :) You said you won't be on as much because you want to focus more in school, I'm glad there's something we can agree on. You said you'd still text me and what not. I felt better, because it wasn't anything like a break up, it's just that you won't be on as much and we won't be talking as much due to school. That

was fine. You scared me. I still feel to cry now, lol.

What I realised from this was that I'm glad I didn't lose you tonight, not that today was special or anything, but I had a short experience on how it would feel if we did break up. It was horrible, and I would never want to feel it again... not any time soon, I hope. I don't think I ever want to contemplate on breaking up with you again. That was scary.

20th August 2011 ; 10:15pm.

I love you. ♥

You and I ♥

You The Man, Number One, At The Top { ♥ }

2011-10-07T07:52:00.002+01:00

Listening to: D-Pryde - Big Shot Feat. August Rigo

Mood: Okayish

Time: 7.52am

It feels different when we talk. It feels like everything is changing and we're not so similar as we thought. It feels like the argument we had last Friday hasn't changed anything... maybe how the way I feel for you, how much I appreciated you more, but that seems that's the only change. I don't feel those emotions and feelings are being returned and I feel belittled whenever we talk. I don't know what to do. I've tried so hard and yet I still feel like shit and I feel like there's never been any impact on this relationship at all.

I'm scared to tell you because you say I get angry at every small thing you do, but that's not true, it's not everything... I guess we just don't fully understand each other enough to work this out. Maybe we rushed into this too fast. I wonder what we should do...

You and I ♥

I'm Senseless Without You { ♥ }

2011-10-02T23:03:00.002+01:00

Listening to: August Rigo - Less of Me

Mood: Okay

Time: 11.04pm

Taking a small break from homework. I don't have school tomorrow~ So, s'all good! How is everyone? I haven't made a post in a while. It's October now and the weather in England is so bizarre, we have temperature reaching to 29 degrees! It's so crazy right now, but apparently this week the weather is going back down to it's normal temperature ._.

So Friday, I went to the Royal Opera House with some school friends for a trip, without any teachers coming with us, which was pretty good, first time experience with no adults and we kept doing head counts xD Um, met up with Stella and Dami after, hanged about in central, went LV for the first time, saw the Supreme store, but I refused to go in because I want to be the only Asian that's never been haha ;D

Met up with baby, was angry with him and we argued for like... two hours and a bit. It was new to me, arguing face to face, I never used to argue like face to face, it was different because I could see how he was reacting to what I was saying, and I guess it was some what easier to control what I could say so it didn't go over board... We argued about... like everything that has happened, and it just wasn't going anywhere. I was crying, he was crying, which is unusual for a guy lool. But boo kept crying whilst trying to look strong, it was cute. Haha x) I sat down at his door step because I was tired of standing and he hugged me and cried on me lool. He's such a baby. But yeah, we worked things out, and it made me realise we got over something so big, we could get over a lot of things if we wanted to. :)

I miss him a lot right now ._. I'm seeing him tomorrow, hopefully~ Eeeeeeee.

You and I ♥

Tell Me How You Like It { ♥ }

2011-09-25T21:27:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Maribelle Anes, Shizzy Sixx, Derez & Jay Renz - So What?

Mood: Great, knackered!

Time: 9.27pm

Eeeeeeeeeeeeee! :) Where to start? Gosh! Hm hm hm, well, woke up at like 7am on Saturday... rolled around in bed until 9am... still managed to be late to meet up with Dannie LOLOL ._. Her mom even called me to check where I was LOLOL jheeze. Bought baby white chocolate chip cookies cos he likes that :3, but there weren't those ones that we bought last time ._. Any ways, so I got off the bus and I see boothang and his friend standing outside of pizza hut, baby was on the phone LOL, so I just came up to him and gave him a peck :3 And he got off the phone, and I was like,"I need to go get Dannie", and he goes,"I'll come with you", and I was like,"No it's okay", and he insists, lool ._., so his friend went into pizza hut and me and boo went to go get Dannie :) I told boo to go back to Pizza hut because I needed to slyly quickly buy him a card... LOLOL. And, LOL I got a paper cut from the envelope ._. quickly wrote a message on the card, the shop keeper thought me and Dannie were going to steal stuff because we were in this corner trying to write a message ._.

We then went and joined the rest at pizza hut, met boo's friends... LOLOL awks time, 'sausage fest' as Matthew described later on in the day... any ways yeah, everyone else ordered like pizza and shit, but me and Dannie weren't feeling pizza so we bought chicken and garlic bread LOLOL, I wasn't that hungry cos I already had spaghetti :3 Umm, baby ordered two smoothie thingies, and he gave one to Dannie and I had some of hers LOOL, we were raving to her itouch and I was watching her play some zombie game and we were just laughing and shouting at it LOLOLOLOL. Cheryl, Steph, Jonathan and Matthew came by to say hi, and wish baby a happy birthday and they went off again, lool. Reggie called and we went downstairs for Dannie to take the call... we came back and half the drink was gone LOLOLOL, everyone's a culprit. x)

After that, we walked to Vue and watched Final Destination 5... 3 fucking D. That film is not legit, oh my gosh, the calamity. ._. Vera came to join us :) ... I didn't even watch half of it, half of it was I was just burying my head into boo's arm and screaming LOLOLOL ._. The guys found it funny /rolls eyes. Dannie didn't watch half of it, she was covering her eyes with her scarf and listening to her iPod LOLOL ahaha. The 3D frames were blue ;D BOSSS. They were Glee 3D glasses, lolol.

Um Dannie and Vera then left us, so it was just me, boo and the guys... LOLOL awkward times. Met up with Dami, Kelson, Daryll, Chris, Malindi and co in front of KFC, asked Daryll if he'd buy us drinks but he said no, CASJ! /rolls eyes. Bought drinks any ways and got served LOL, another friend of boo's called Matthew joined us, and bought us more drinks since he looked older, lool. Dami went home, and Kelson joined us as he had nothing to do... Went up to boo's block and drank and played some weird version of Blackjack LOL. Went out to buy more drinks... but failed, all places closed after 11 LOL, so we were just walking around, I was dead tired and my feet hurt LOL ._. Dropped Kelson off at his bus stop and went back to boo's place, the guys were playing Fifa, Matthew went home, and boo got out mattresses and what not for the others to sleep.

I kept waking up and what not, it was sooooooooooo hot. I could tell boo was still awake because he kept moving around and holding my hand LOL, went decided to sleep in his mom's room because it was bigger and LOLOL, when we were trying to creep out, I stepped on his friend's feet and I knee'd one of his friend's head ._. HAHAHAHA. It was super cold in there! Body warmthhhhh :)

Woke up to boo getting all frustrated HAHAHA xD Jokes! Um, was about 9 something, went back to sleep till like 12 ish~ Went back into his room to find his friends playing Fifa, again LOLOL ._." They shortly left~, I went to go brush my teeth... boo gave me a new toothbrush and I couldn't stop laughing LOL. At the back of the toothbrush packet, it had some Chinese writing and I found it hilarious LOL. Yeah... so went to brush my teeth, it had some clippy thing to protect the bristles after you finish brushing your teeth, I found that cooooool :3 LOL, gave him the toothbrush to put away, if ever I come over again... SLIM CHANCE! LOOL, but I'll try again for New Years :)... he says I should come over for anniversaries and over occasions, I was like lol whatever /rolls eyes.

Went Tescos to buy ingredients to make Chicken pasta... there was no chicken so we bought mince instead... LOLOL, and the recipe we looked at was just pasta, not pasta bake. ._. Stupid giraffe LOL (: but it came out quite nice nevertheless~ though the turkey tasted weird. HAHA xD However, boo's uncle really liked it... he ate it all, the pan is CLEAN! LOOL. Ummm, boo's auntie and grandma bought him dim sum and cake~ Ummm, we then took a nap.. LOLOL, woke up an hour later due to my mom calling my phone... and um yeah. :3 Took me home, our bus ride was kinda quiet cos we were both sleepy haha xD

Have to wait another 5 days to see him again! .____. Until next time. (:

You and I ♥

La La La La La La I Like You! { ♥ }

2011-09-19T18:02:00.004+01:00

Listening to: T-Ara - Roly Poly

Mood: Unmotivated

Time: 6.02pm

College is going quite good for me! I've just been feeling a little unmotivated to do any work lately because I'm always so tired when I get home ._. Finally bought the Time Traveller's Wife though, need to start reading that soon, maybe after I do one of my English hw's?

The other day I saw my boo :) Two days before that though, we weren't really on good terms lol. It was a long talk on the day I met him in the morning, and then I went to go meet up at Tottenham Court Road, but it was awkward, I hoped that it'll be like the other time when it was awkward for a little bit, and we'd talk again, but I was wrong... lol. We walked towards WHSmith in the Plaza in the rain, and it was just awkward and silent, I tried making some sort of conversations with him but I just got like closed answers "/ I felt like it was my fault this obstacle happened in our relationship. I felt like shit. We went Waterstones after and stayed there for a bit, I started to roam around when he sat down to read, I gave him some book I thought was funny and he just stared at me like "Wtf, so?" and I was like "Um okay..." and walked off again. I then left him in the shop and walked over to Clinton Cards and bought him a Giraffe for our one month on Tues, iuno if he realised I left the shop though, lol. I sat down opposite him for a bit and he went to sleep, I couldn't help but smile to myself because he looked so peaceful just sleeping there, so I texted him if he wanted to go and walked off near the door, and shortly he passed me and we went off to McD's because I wanted a drink, we stayed there for a bit because the rain got heavier and I kinda started crying in there lol. We started talking via text and I just felt even more shitter, he didn't want my present I got him and he just wanted to leave, so I suggested we go to his house for now, then I'd probably leave when the rain goes and like just leave him there if the situation didn't get better.

I was like crying all the way to his house but tried to wipe my tears so I could greet his grandmother, then quickly walked into his room so she didn't see lol, ummm, I sat on like one side of the bed and he sat on the other and I was just there crying my eyes out. I was just crying and crying, I don't remember the last time I cried for so long, I don't know if he was crying though, I didn't hear him cry or anything lol, then he got up to sit next to me and held my hand. I didn't even know how to feel at this point cos I felt like I just completely ruined our relationship, then he like put his arm around me and held my hand, and we started doing that thumb thing we usually do, that made me smile :3 He took my glasses off and started wiping my tears lol, we just sat in silence pretty much, well with me crying for like ages. -.- And then he whispered,"I'm sorry, I love you" and I replied,"Me too", my voice sounded like shit so I just kept quiet for awhile. And um... yeah, the usual... Then we went McD's to go eat, then he took me home :3

We're on good terms now, and I'm glad we got over that lol. 'Twas a huge obstacle, but we got through. :) We were texting yesterday, and we were like just casually texting to each other in caps because he bumped into Cheryl and co, LOL. Likee, and he made it awks, so I said go do the awkward giraffe! And I told him how to do it LOLOL, and he said he'd do it at home and cos he was holding Kira he couldn't, haha. Then he called me and we were just laughing at how awkward it was for him and the others, and how Jonny broke up with Jojo and ect lolol :3

It's his birthday this Sun, exciteddd. ^^

You and I ♥

In The Dark We'll Lay { ♥ }

2011-09-10T23:38:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Kina Grannis - In Your Arms

Mood: Okay

Time: 11.38pm

Soo.... today was a good day, yes yes? :) I woke up first! Haha~ Just a little thing me and boo has. Um, texting with him for a while then finally got ready and waited for him to pick me up :3

Dami called me when we reached Angel, and she was talking about something about free Fanta so I was like,"I want free Fantaaaaaaaa!" and me and boo got off and met up with Dami at Oasis! After hugging and what not, we saw George! LOL, and George like climbed over the railing LOL. What a badman. Um~ Then we saw Cheryl! And then they went off to cinema, Dami took us to the "free Fanta" place, but it was actually milkshake! Pffft, no milkshake tenkz~

So finally arrived at booooooo's place, and watched the Pokémon movieeeee! Dami called me during the movie ._. During the bit where Pikachu was gettin' slapped up! ._. It was emotional, boo kept making stupid sniffing noises when I was actually getting emotional LMAO. T_T He was not helping the situation! Pfffffft. And uh yeah, apparently someone who wasn't really on good terms with me wanted to speak to me, so I was like oh noooooez. But yeah, she just confronted about how I supposedly ripped a picture of hers at booth? I was like,"Who plays these childish games..." I mean, wtf, I'm 16. Do I look like I have time to rip pictures? I'll admit, I've ripped a picture before... HALF, it was half hanging, I'm not that mean to rip the whole thing off, but that was like... months ago, lol. And definitely nothing to do with her... I find her somewhat intimidating, maybe because she's tall and has a bitch attitude, no offence... lol.

Anyways, hanged out with Chris, Jonathan, Dami and ma boooo :) Went KFC, saw Teo and his little brother, HAHA! His little brother was so cuteeee, Dami kept pedo-ing, then went Troc to see who was there, see how they just installed a TV and PS3? Haha (: Femi was just casually playing haha! We then left Chris and Dami to eat, and went back to baby's houseee :) And um yeah! Jammed for a while. (: LOL I like taking the piss out of him~ /breathes hard. HAHAHA. :)

On the bus journey home, we were discussing who would wash the dishes when we'd live together, and he kept going about how we'd cook 50/50, and he'd chop the onions, and I was just like,"NO! YOU CAN'T CHOP ONIONS! YOU STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN!" and we both didn't want to wash the dishes, so I suggested a dish washer, and he was like,"Lazy", and I was like,"You don't want to wash dishes :P" haha~ and then we started to plan how we'd cook a three main course when we're free, next next Saturday? :) We planned the starter course was Dukkbokki with ramen, main course was Pasta bake with chicken and desert was Caramel tart with custard. :) Sounds yummy yummy~

Today was funnnn ^^

You and I ♥

I'm Going To Set A Spark { ♥ }

2011-09-10T00:17:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Lights - Face Up

Mood: Tired

Time: 12.17am

You make me really happy. That is all.
I love you.

You and I ♥

I Don't Want To Risk It All { ♥ }

2011-09-09T20:12:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Michael Carreon - Thoughts

Mood: Good

Time: 8.12pm

Hm! Let's start off with yesterday~ So, second day of college right, and we all go to Lambourne End... I guess you can say it's like an ice breaker for the whole year group? You know, to rekindle old friendships, make some new ones with others, might I just say it was really helpful, I got closer to my form group and I feel more comfortable now if I was on my own because I know who I could go to if Aaminah wasn't always by my side :)

So, my group which was half of my form group and this other form group did the rope course. Funny enough, there was 12 of us and in that 12 were only two guys, how proportional(!) Haha. So we first did the rope course, which basically, was loads of ropes hanging on the top of this dirty river swamp thing. May I just say only two people dropped, and not everyone did all the courses, only like three people including myself completed all the courses, everyone else either skipped two or more, which I found quite useless because what's the point of coming over if you refuse to do anything?

But it got better later in the day :) We had lunch, and me and Aaminah were sitting on this wall, observing all the other groups that were already formed. We looked like loners, LOL. And then our head of year came over and was like,"Are they cutting you out? I'll get someone and say 'Hey, talk to these girls, they're new' if you want?" It was just so awkward, though I see and thank his good intentions :)

After lunch, we went onto team building, I really enjoyed this because this actually brought the group together. We all communicated, and worked together as a group to complete each tasks, and it was all really fun! There were loads of jokes and what not whilst working together, which was good... because we didn't exactly work in silence, lol. Our group was really supportive, like we'd all cheer on for each other which was really good :) Haha, Aaminah said her group was nothing like that. Sad times~

But yeah! After that, whilst me and Aaminah waited at the bus stop to go home, boooothangg came along :) Yay! Aaminah was like,"He's short..." HAHAHA, but he's like 5'9?! Does it make any sense? It's so weird haha. Or maybe we're growing. :3 But I feel completely short in my school... LOL, like everyone's a good 395737 inches taller and I'm just really small, and I feel slightly intimidated haha! But yeah, after dropping Aaminah to the bus stop, me and booface went Clissold Park and hanged around there, saw some Stokie students lol, we walked sat down for a while, and I told him my day, walked around a bit because it started to spit, then we sat somewhere else and spoke for a while, it was nearly 6pm, so I took him to KFC so he could go eat and I'd drop him home, and saw Stella! LOL, then when he got on the bus, I went home and saw her again so decided to walk home with her, she went to mines and stayed till like 10pm, and we were just generally catching up, which was cool :) She was contemplating to come move to my college because she said her college was too far and she didn't know there was near by, so I said you should contact the director of the college to see if you can still enroll, because it's not that late :3 But I don't know the process yet, so yeah ^^

Today, we had some workshop, and my head of year telling me his life story LOL, and then got my student ID photo taken. :3 Yeahhhhhh. Tomorrow, KPOP party? We'll see. :3

You and I ♥

All Over You { ♥ }

2011-09-07T21:06:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Miguel - On You Like Rain

Mood: Exhausted

Time: 9.06pm

First day at college was good :) A little awkward, we got an introduction, the same ol' things that I'm sure most school gets, behaviour, punctuality, ect, ect. We received our planners and time tables... only that my time table was empty, LOL. So I had to go see some guy about that, but it's all sorted now so :) Me and Aaminah aren't in the same form ): But we have like two subjects together and a whole load of lessons and free lessons together which is good!

We kinda stayed in school 'till like 2 something when we could've left at like 12... we didn't know that until finding out from some girl. LOL how embarrassing! Tomorrow, Lambourne End, eeeeee.

Finally topped up after 6 months... LOLOL. Started spamming baby, Dami and Marsha cos it was her birthday (: Need to wake up early because these buses are dodgy... they don't come on time. I nearly missed my bus! I never run for buses, pfft. ._. The bus driver was nice :3

So yesterday, I saw baby again! Only this time I travelled up to his place because he had some meeting at school so to save time, I went up there :3 And it was windy like maaaaad and it was raining like shiitake mushrooms on the bus, thank god it stopped raining when I got off, and he was there to pick me up :D We watched the Digimon Movie! After trying to find the Eng dub after so long, because we watched it with Eng dub when we were younger :3, and yeah! Haha, like 3/4 into the movie, the laptop decided to overheat and shut down! ): So I was like,"Okay, let's take a nap then", and LOL instead of taking a nap we just made out. HAHAHA~ So much for napping... even though I was super tired. And um, I went home earlier than usual, he didn't complain, which was a good thing... because usually he complains then we'd have this whole stalling thing and he'd stomp his feet and be a big baby, haha!

So on our way home, we were talking about stuff, you know discussing, relationship problems and what not, and working on them, and yeah, it was quite... interesting I guess. Even though all he said was,"Mhm, I agree with you, yeah", and I kept going,"Bloody talk" LOLOL. Hehe :)

You and I ♥

You're Just An Animal I Caught { ♥ }

2011-09-03T23:12:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Neon Hitch - Bad Dog

Mood: Okay

Time: 11.12pm

Today was a really good day, I really enjoyed it :) Baby picked me up again, even though we were like an hour late because he had to sort our his student ID at school, and I got to see his passport, haha his picture was so adorable! He was in year 5, so cute :) And um, he took my cardigan because he wanted me to get over my insecurities about my arms lol :3, went to Traf to meet Melody, Jesh, Jing, Molly and Carena :) We went Yokusa... once again bought something I didn't really enjoy, I think Jordan liked his Jap Chae, but my Jajangmeon was gross LOL ._. Bare oil, eugh! But the dukkbokki was nice :) The dumpling wasn't "/ Hm!

We then kinda left them because we wanted to get a drink, and met up with Vera at Troc later on, gave her her present, haha, she loved it :3 Which is a good thing ^^ Saw Dami, Yumi, Cheryl, Seiji, Robert, India, Lizbet and a few others LOL ._. A lot of people haha~ Me, baby, Dami and Cheryl decided to go booth to meet Vera there, saw my ex, lol um... yeah awks, and uh, we sat there talking for a while, Kelson, Sharmeine, Jasmine, Stephanie and Vanessa later came and jammed, we then decided to take pictures lol :3

After that, we went Troc, well Dami and Kelson were staying behind, but I needed to go home, so I said bye to everyone and me and baby went off home :3 Hehe, he showed me his braces after I kept bugging him after so long, so cute! He has such an adorable mouth, all small and petite :3

I didn't tickle him today, haha :) And I didn't break our kiss thingy majig days lol :)

You and I ♥

I've Loved Our Good Times Here { ♥ }

2011-09-02T23:09:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Frank Ocean - Strawberry Swing

Mood: Tired, happy.

Time: 11.09pm

Hmm~ Today was a good day :) Baby woke me up with a text and shortly called me after saying,"Wake up!" haha~ But I was already awake this time round :P But yeah, picked me up around 2ish I think, and we reached Newington Green, my mom calls me and says to buy nail polish remover for her, so we had to take a bus back to Mare St and I went to buy a big jug of nail polish remover for her, gave it to her and me and baby took the 38 to Dami's because he was hungry :3 HAHA. We slyly went there to make food ;) We made spaghetti, me, baby and Dami ate, there was loads left so I'm guessing her family's going to eat that haha :)

We jammed till 6pm at Dami's, and we all set off to Central, only that me and baby were going his house to sew Vera's present and Dami went off to Troc to see Femi and the rest :3 I still failed the sewing ._. but it looked better this time, more presentable... I guess ahahaha~ I still don't like it, but meh~ baby said it was okay so haha. ^^ and um yeah, :3 we took a mini nap again HAHAHA~ ^^ it got really hot in his room, I started sweating x_x. And yeah~ usual stuff~, mom called for me to go home, lol so we went home :3.

We had an interesting bus journey home this time~ We started talking about religion, God, holy books, then the conversation changed to about evil, Satan, Freemasons, Illuminati and the KKK ahaha, I don't know, but I enjoyed the conversation, it shows another side of him, that we don't always have to be lovey dovey, that we can also share insights on things and discuss about things that not stereotypical couples talk about. Hmm. :)

Fun fact of the day, we've kissed everyday since we've met... I was like,"What? No way, we didn't kiss on the first day we met", and then he goes,"You kissed me remember? At beach? Matthew dared you to kiss me". And then I was like ohhhhhh. Haha, we've kissed everyday since we've met.

You and I ♥

I'm Searching For The Lime Light { ♥ }

2011-09-02T01:30:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Jay Differ - Like Me

Mood: Content, cold.

Time: 1.30am

Today was an... okay day overall? :) My day started off with Woodhouse College calling me saying I've been accepted... but I declined their offer. Sammie says it's Buddha's plans for a better future... Hm, I hope so. I wonder what Buddha has got in mind for me.

Met up with the boothangggg at Angel, I wore my bow earrings after... God knows how many months, it felt a bit weird wearing earrings again but I got used to it :) Took the 38 to China Town and I got baby to wear my earring, LMAO! Oh my gosh, he wanted to walk around wearing it, it looked so feminine on him. It was literally hilarious but I was too embarrassed to walk around with him with one of my earrings in his ear so I told him to take it off, he didn't want to until I slapped him up LOL! And um, we went into Troc, ahh~ it's been a while since I've been there, Dami and Daryll ran up to me and Dami pushed Daryll out the way and hugged me first and humped in me the corner LOOL! Then I hugged Daryll and everyone else that was out there :3 Then me, baby, Dami and Yumi went out to meet with the others.

Met up with everyone else at Cafe De HK, and we walked to St James Park, the guys found some bait spot to do their drink up... but I didn't wanna sit there, so me and baby walked off and crossed some bridge and settled on some bench on the other side. We found another spot for the guys to come down, but they were already drinking so we didn't really bother to drag them down here. So we were just talking and we kinda came to a disagreement, or something. I called him anti-social so he just went quiet and didn't talk to me, being all stubborn. I then got upset LMAO ._. and started crying ;-; I didn't like the fact that he wasn't talkingg ): because I'm usually the stubborn onee ._. And then he started crying too! Huuhuuuuuuuu ._. And we were just hugging each other crying LMAO. ._." And um, yeah, he kept saying I love you and stuff, trying to make me smile and what not~ it took me a while to crack but I got there in the end :) Haha, getting all emotional and all ._.

So after we cheered up and all, we went back to find the others... he gave me his jacket because I was cold and all he was wearing was a plain white t-shirt. He kept saying he wasn't cold but I knew he was lying! Went to the bit between Trafalgar Sq and the park, and just jammed there for a bit, met Kelson who's a really nice person... found out he was related to this 'pedo' known around central LOL. And we all just talked for hourssss, Jonathan lost his iTouch cos peoples left his bag at the park -.-. And yeah, I thanked Buddha that me and baby walked away to avoid stupidness LOL! Then we moved to Traf, and when we arrived, there was like the rest of the group on the platforms, and it was just so crowded, LMAO so me, baby and Dami divered and found Daryll, Chris and few of the older lot on the other side. WHICH WAS A GOOD THING, because a little later on security came along and told them to get off the platforms due to the alcohol and Chris was gettin' all emotional HAHAHA xD

Then me and baby said our goodbyes because mom called and I needed to get home :3 We took a pitstop to his house to get money so he could buy food, haha he looked so cute nomming his foooood! Awwrrr~ ;3;. He took me home and um yeah, we finally found an empty bus! HAHA I was bare happy I was jumping up and down, and um yeah. :) I fell asleep on him... once again LMAO! ._. I keep falling asleep on him on our bus journey home nowadays. :3 I hope he doesn't mind LOL ;-;.

You and I ♥

We Shine Together { ♥ }

2011-08-31T23:14:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Rezzy Renz - Fly Together

Mood: Good

Time: 11.14pm

Today was good! Saw Erika and Tobi again after so long, especially Tobi! I haven't seen him since May ._. And um yeah... was like an hour late, HAHA... ;-; Boo picked me up from the bus stop near his house, and we went to booth :3 LOL Erika and Tobi weren't there so we called Erika... after the third call, she finally picked up, stood outside booth just talking, slyly catching up about what not, then decided to go up to take some pictures... took a while to choose a layout LOL. Umm... yeah haha :3 Redone a lot of photos because I'm fussy, as baby would like to describe me HAHAH.

We then went to Trafalgar Square and sat where the platform was and talked for a while, listened to Erika and Tobi go on about Pokémon and I was just like ooooooooooh /facepalm. HAHA, my fandom for Pokémon just goes so far~ And um, just talking and what not, about random things~ Then we decided to go to some chicken and chip shop in Soho and me and Erika started going on about Charlie the Unicorn like we always do and baby just gave me a weird look like,"what the hell" and kept laughing at me HAHA, so we finally get to the shop, and looked at the prices, LOL uh... anyways, baby ordered his food but Tobi and Erika had to go home, so we said our goodbyes~, and um I sat with baby whilst he munched his food, I played my DS :3 LOL. Baby thought I was upset or something cos I was quiet but when I'm tired/restless I get pretty quiet :3

Um, we then went to his housee... I was tired so I lied down, and was like to him,"Go sleep, I'll sleep with you", and he went to sleep but I was just staring at him LOOOL, he's such a cutie when he sleeps ♥, and he opened his eyes and was like,"What the..." HAHAH ;-; oops! Haha, but yeah, slept for a little~ And then mom called, it was around 7pm so I was like,"I'm going to go home now", and baby wouldn't let me go, he held on me really tight and was like,"Noooooooo!" and kept stomping his feet on the bed like a baby, haha he looked so cute! He kept going "10 more minutes, 10 more minutes", and I kept going,"10 minutes are over!" and he'd go,"No!" and like pout his lips, haha, soo cuteeeee! Then he goes "Anh yeu em" in hopes I stay even longer LOL, his accent is soooooooooo cute. An, an, an, an, an! I kept teasing him and he kept pouting his lips LOOOOOOL such an adorable babyyyyyy :3 ♥

Going to see Dami, baby and the rest again tomorrow! Wooo! Sorry for ghosting guys ._. ♥

You and I ♥

But I Won't Hurt You { ♥ }

2011-08-30T00:48:00.004+01:00

Listening to: Keyshia Cole Feat. Monica - Trust

Mood: Tired

Time: 12.48am

Hmmmm, so baby called me this morning to wake me up, how sweet of him. (: We were meant to go beach today, but the weather was too cold so we cancelled haha ^^, um, we met up earlier than usual, picked me up at 2, went McD's behind Leicester Sq and went to his house, his grandma and her friend was at home lol :3 Ate in his room and he kept watching me ._. LOL, I gave him the rest of my fries and I was just staring him down :P

Mmmm, then we had a nap haha~ He looked so cute when he was sleeping, I actually had a good sleep LOL :3! Haha, so so so cute, he looks like a baby when he sleeps. :) I woke up before him though, and I think I kinda woke him up, oops ._., haha, and um yeah~ I showed him my constellations in Animal Crossing Wide World on my DS! Haha, he then made one of his own, so cute~ And when Celeste, the owl who took care of the constellations and what not, kept saying the name he named the constellation, he kept going,"Obviously" HAHAH so sillyyyy. (:

Um yeah, and we just lied down for a while to pass time... and I gave him two massive love bites, LOOOOL :) and then he got something for me to eat and for himself :3 Then started sewing Vera's present. Errrrr, I fucked her present up with my rusty sewing skills LOLOL, he says it looks fine but the letters are all wonky and wrong sized LOL! ._. Going to do it again if he lets me :3

Was around 9pm and decided to go home and he took me home :3 Haha, he was being a big baby! And LOL I kept biting his face, was fun. Nom nom nom nom :) He kept wanting to kiss me so I bit his lip hard and he like winced in pain LOLOL. And um yeah, he kept going,"You're such a baby! You're such a big baby" then I was like,"NO! I'm a penguin!" then I started to waddle away LOL. Waddle waddle waddle :) And he's a giraffe haha (:

Finally exchanged the words 'I love you'. :)

You and I ♥

But You're Still On My Mind { ♥ }

2011-08-28T01:58:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Maribelle Anes - I Can't Be In Love

Mood: Exhausted

Time: 1.58am

Hmmm, today was another semi good day I guess (: Got out of bed around 1pm ish, and left around 4.30pm? Went to meet up with him, though it was quite awkward at first... Hm. Sometimes I just have to ignore my pride and talk, you know? If I didn't hit him up today, most likely I wouldn't have gone out today, lol. And I met him at uh... Angel, he was late for once, lol. Um, awkward silent bus ride, got off at China Town and walked to Cafe De HK, saw Chris, walked to booth, was so crowded o_o. Saw Cheryl and a wholeeeeee load of people and um, Chris and Ian were just laughing retarded-ly to this picture on the wall, Chris even took a picture ==. He laughs like a 5 year old, it's not even laughing, it's giggling, high. Pitched. Giggling. Saw Jonathan after so long! Was catching up with him then my ex randomly came out of no where and waved o_o. LOL did not see him coming...

Umm, we then travelled to Traf, Hockyin and Ian bought uhh alchyyy for the group and we set off to where the lions were. I didn't want to climb up because it was like wet, but Cheryl and Ian helped me up ;D Um, then I sat on him because I didn't want my ass to get wet... but it did in the end ._. and my feet were soaking from the rain and it felt so nasty walking, but up yeah, had a bit of WKD... and some weird vodka thing and something that Alex mixed, did not taste casj. Me and him were more comfortable now :) And um... more people joined us, Chris was getting annoyed because there was another white guy in the group... Chris is "supposingly" the only white guy in the group and he felt replaced, and he kept shouting white phrases LOLOL, was hilarious :3

Went off to buy more alchyy, ahh these people lol! Young alcoholics lmao, then we went to some place near Traf... in a corner and uh yeah, the others sat down and jammed... me and him being anti-social as usual with our coupleness... haha, there were like two other couples too! I think one of 'em done some shtuff behind the bushes mon! The girl came out buttoning up her shorts LMAO, and they'd just randomly make out outta no where... like violently sucking off each other's faces. LOL was like, whoaaaaa.

Um, got dark, gave Vera her card... he forgot her present at his house ._. Maybe it'll give us more time to sew? :) And um, went McDs... ate, then he took me home, as usual. The bus journey... Jheeze, say no more ;) HAHAHA. /rolls eyes. He's too much.

You and I ♥

Can Ya Stay Awhile? { ♥ }

2011-08-25T00:54:00.007+01:00

Listening to: Mac Miller - Senior Skip Day

Mood: Good, hungry.

Time: 12.55am

Hmmmm :) Well, today I went out with him again ^^ This time he picked me up at the bus stop right outside my house! Haha :) He wore shortsssss and so did I haha. (: Took the bus to Tottenham Court Rd and went Woo Jung... now I know why I don't like that place HAHA... I'm never picking places to eat ever! I always choose the wrong places ._. Never choosing again T_T Haha! Umm~ Then we walked to Covent Garden and walked into the Apple Store, I was thinking,"Oh, vain time again?" But instead, we went upstairs, and there was that Lego game and we were just running around beating each other up and jumping around. I was playing as the Lego Indiana Jones so I had a whip, I couldn't hit him, so I found a button that I could just punch him, LOL! He was playing some character with a shovel, and he kept hitting me with a shovel, and there was this part where we had to swing, and like I was able to swing cos I had a shovel but he kept dropping and dying HAHA.. then he goes,"I don't like this game any more" and we left because we were totally clueless on how to play :3 Hahaha

Then we walked around and found ourselves in Cyber candy and he bought some sweet thingy and we set off to his house :) I was being stubborn as usual, LOL he wanted to kiss me but I was like "No! I don't like your kisses" and he said,"We'll see how long that last", HAHA! I technically won in the end because he kept going,"I want to kiss you, just give up already, you win!" HAHA :3 He started to act like a baby, it was so cuteeee. We uhh watched a movie? We watched 'The Crazies' like half way, it got a bit gross LMAO and we uhh... just jammed for the rest of the day :)

Results in 9 hours! Eeee ._. I'm slightly panicking because I had a dream that I achieved an E and the rest B's on my exams. ): I hope not! I'd just commit suicide ._. I think I should start pack my bags to live under a bridge. Troll foreverrrr.

You and I ♥

One Day You'll Do It All { ♥ }

2011-08-23T19:15:00.002+01:00

Listening to: AM Kidd - Invisible

Mood: Okay

Time: 7.16pm

Hmm, so the other day I went temple in B'ham again, like I do every year, and surprisingly, I saw Phuong and Tu! I was very surprised and very happy. I finally found some people I knew for once at the temple and it wasn't as boring... though for the past two years I've been more into my religion and so I've been spending my time in the temple more wisely so yeah. :)

But later that day it wasn't too good. Me and him got into a really big argument and hmm. I wasn't too proud of some of the things I said and I guess I was too upset to think properly and just said anything that came into mind. I should stop saying things I don't mean when I'm upset, it really does give off a different impression that I want the other party to receive. But the argument made me really down. I didn't want to talk to any one and I was trying to act happy and what not to others that were talking to me at the time, I just ended up telling everyone I was going to go sleep because I was too upset to do anything.

Yesterday I woke up still upset, I thought a sleeping it off would have helped, but I was wrong. I still felt like shit and I kept thinking,"When is this feeling going to go away? It's making me miserable and my whole day shit and it's hardly begun"... but I'm not going to lie, I somewhat missed that feeling, the feeling that you have after an argument with your significant other. I haven't had that feeling for a really long time, so I guessed I'm somewhat happy to experience again... reminds me how that type of emotional pain feels like? Ahaha, I sound so emo. ._.

Any ways, I met up with him around 5... though we were meant to meet up at like 4, but I had to do some errands for my mom and she kept stalling me, and he ended up leaving late anyways... and we were both late, but I came later by like a few minutes after haha. I gave him a really long hug and I felt a bit better. I'm not going to lie, I was still upset at him and myself and the situation that happened the night before. We went to Paperchase to buy a card for Vera and realised you couldn't even open the card... it had a little paper thing where you slipped it in and out, we wrote a message on that and on the back of the so-called card and sat at a bench in the mall[?] for a while just talking. He wanted to walk but I wanted to sit and he called me lazy, pfft. Lol, I just like staying in one place and talk, it's fun... I guess haha. Um, we then decided to walk and get "lost", ended up going to some random place that we knew haha. So much for getting lost hmm? (:

We then went to a park nearby and sat there talking once again, haha. After a while we went Tescos because he was feeling for cookies. "Eating cookieeee!" Hahaha :) We got a little hungry... well he was really hungry so we went to Wagamama and that didn't even fill him up even when I gave him like half my plate lol! And it was ridiculously expensive -.-" Note to self, never going there again if you're broke HAHA. I tipped them 14p in coppers ;) LMAO he said it was rude, I said I was being thoughtful! Pfft. His ex texted him a really long paragraph saying how she still loved him and what not and I texted her back saying,"Hi, this is his girlfriend. :)" and yeah... it went silent for a bit haha. But um, went to the park again and just hanged there till um 8.45pm? Talking and trying to piss him off by talking in a baby voice cos he finds that annoying... but he just says that I make it all cute and what not ;-;.

He then took me home again, tssskk, he's so nice, always taking me home and what not ._. His ex started calling him and he wouldn't pick up so I said to give the phone to me, after trying to grab his phone he finally did, she just threatened to beat me up and um... yeah. I gave the phone back to him and he hanged up, and he made me pinky promise to never talk to her ._. I was going to troll her so baaaaaaad and rub it in her face what she's missing out on LOL but nooooo, kill joy. Pfft. Um yeah, she texted him later on that she no longer loved him and um, yeah LMAO. She's obsessed... she'll probably text him again later on or something. /rolls eyes.

You and I ♥

I'm Ready To Let You Be { ♥ }

2011-08-21T00:44:00.002+01:00

Listening to: AM Kidd - Better Than You

Mood: Good, hungry ):

Time: 12.45am

Hmmm, today was a good day :) Or should I say um, yesterday haha. Need to sleep very soon because I have to wake up around 6ish for temple ._. Boooo! Um yeah, so I went shopping with him today (: He kept wanting to pay for everything. I felt so bad and guilty he wanted to splash out on me so I just like.. chose a jumper LMAO! There was a nice jumper from Superdry but it had like dirt stains and threads coming out on ALL the jumpers and the store was closing so we rushed off to buy Supras for him :3 Haha, he bought so much! What a girl. (: Haha, so cute. I made him carry all the stuff though, weight lifting :P We went into Levi's and he was like,"Oh, this is nice", and I was like,"Yeah it is... it's womans", LMAOOOOOO HAHAHAHHA.

Um we had Assa... again but in the other place! And uh, ordered the same thing and it was much nicer this time haha ._. I think we should go Woojung's next time... I miss their udon. D; Is it called Woojungs? Haha I don't even remember, but they gave us sooooo much ddukkbokki :3 SOYUMMYY~ He ate most of it. I was not happy. LOL. No happy bunny. :3

Um yeah, passed Trocs, no one was there, well I saw a few people :3 Haha. Um, bumped into Dami, Yumi and Ken Chi, and was just laughing at China Town for like 20 minutes haha! :3 Dami wanted her chicken LOOOOOOOOOL and we actually had chicken with us because I brought him Aaminah's infamous chicken sticks. Mmmmmmm :3 Yummyy... eeee, she had a feast today ._. I wanted to join ): Chicken sticks T_T and samosas, and spring rolls, and parcels, and lalalala! :3

But yeah, after talking to them, me and him went to his place and did the usual~ Lost track of time HAHA .-. So he took me home again, and haha, I must have said,"GO TELL THE BUS DRIVER TO DRIVE FASTER!" and he went silent for a bit then he goes,"Done!" and I was like,"What?!" and he was like,"Telepathic" Hahaha... then we started playing the telepathic game... and I was like,"I'm not getting anything you're saying because it's all lies! I don't accept lies" HAHAHAHA. Then one time he was like,"How is a question a lie?" so I was like,"You asked a question?" and then I replied to that question telepathically... assuming I knew what it was. I think I did... I was right in the end. ;D

And here I am, officially taken. (:

You and I ♥

Take Me By The Tongue { ♥ }

2011-08-19T00:12:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Maroon5 - Moves Like Jagger Feat. Christina Aguilera

Mood: Good, slyly sick.

Time: 00.12am

Today was eventful! Finally went to go see Aaminah again after 45830850386039 years. Felt so good to be back at my second home haha ;) Going there again tomorrow because I didn't spend that long with her, plus she was upset I wasn't staying for dinner like I usually do. Sorry! I love you though. :) ♥

It then started to rain like mad! -.- Went to meet up with him near Aaminah's then we went Angel to watch The Inbetweeners Movie. :3 It was funny! Ahaha, no spoilers though, but I recommend it, if you've watched the TV series, then you really have to watch it, it's like the cherry on top of the ice cream. :3 Um yeah, after that we went China Town to buy Vera's present, then he paid for me when we went Misato~ :3 EEEEE, it was a lot ahaha, couldn't finish it ._. They gave me so much chicken! Boo! Haha, he finished his plate though, so. :3 I tried finishing mine but ee, was too much HAHA! Hm!

Then after that I went to his house, and jammed 'till like uh, 9.45pm? Lol. Um, yeah. 'Tis all. ;) Can't wait for the chicken sticks at Aaminah's tomorrow! Boop! Hahah :D

You and I ♥

Do You Think About Me Still? { ♥ }

2011-08-16T19:56:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Frank Ocean - Thinking About You

Mood: Good, tired.

Time: 9.57pm

I am soooooooooooo tired from yesterday! Gosh. Well, on Saturday I was suppose to go to a gallery with Nicola and Dami, but we ended up not going because it was too late, um... Trocs shop was closed, and we bumped into Daryll, Iona, Chris and two other people at KFC, went photobooth for a while to meet Ha, saw Cheryl and Ken Chi there and just jammed there for a good hour or so... ended up going Apple Store and Chris joined and um, just being vain haha, Dami and Chris went off to Debenhams and me, Nicola and Ha and myself went and acted like tourists and took loads of pictures ahaha! 'Twas fun :3 Went into a souvenir shop to take pictures with hats but we couldn't find the hats so we left to take pictures by the fountain, lol. He called and I asked if he wanted to meet up before I left and um, we went underground, and I guess he called a lot but cos there's no reception down there, me and Nicola went up... to only find out he went down there LMAO ._., so we hanged out for like another 10 mins with the rest of the guys and me, Dami and him went home. :3 Took Dami home and then he took me home! Haha :)

Yesterday I went to his house again... um, met up earlier than usual though :3 Haha ^^ Um... went around China Town to look for Vera's present, now we know what we want to get for her... we just need to buy it now... LMAO. Um, yeah. :3 He then went to go buy bubble tea, and he offered me some and I was like,"I don't like the balls..." LOOOOL, then I was like,"PEARLS! I mean pearls!" xD And um, walked around China town... mind you, in circles LOL ._. and then to his house. I said hi to his grandma and she just gave me a nod. LMAO ._. before stepping in the house I was preparing myself for any type of conversation that would have occured... maybe next time. :3

So we watched Friday the 13th, and eughhhhhhhh. It was gory! Not casj! And I finally met his mom :3 HAHA, she asked me what my name was and if I smoked. I was kind of surprised/shocked she asked if I smoked cos well... no one really asks and I kind of want to know why she asked too... but hm, maybe we'll leave that answer blank. And uh yeah. Did the usualsssss. He's such a tease! A big big teaser. Hmph! And his room got really hot too, lol hmhmhmhm~

That's all... no need for details :)

You and I ♥

Take You With Me { ♥ }

2011-08-13T01:35:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Talay Riley - Good As Gold Feat. Scorcher (Acoustic)

Mood: Good!

Time: 1.35am

Mmmmmmm, today was a good day. :) So, I went to his house today, haha was pretty scared actually! So, he picked me up at like... 3pm? And we went to Assa, HAHA, ordered Dukkbokki with ramen (I actually didn't know they just served it with ramen... but it was still nice, though I think it was too soft? Um... ordered two stirfry chicken udong? But um, we ordered the non-spicy one and it was really sweet... wasn't really nice. ;-; Hahaha! Now we know not to go there again. :3 Went to some park garden thing... that looked like a jungle LMAO! Sat there for a bit then went to another park next to it and jammed there for a while. Haha ummm, then decided to leave to his house which wasn't too far from the park. :3

So, we were standing outside his house and saw him mom leave the house so we went to hide behind this thing, and he pointed out China town, and HAHA, it was a pretty view, like a different angle seeing China town, and um.. Yeah, I was scared someone I knew who was walking along China town saw us standing on the balcony so uh.. yeah, LMAO, went down to sit in a bench whilst he went to see who was at home, found out everyone was at home, LMAO! And um, yeah. When everyone left, we went in and haha, jammed in his room. :3 And uh, his uncle came back in the house and LOL figured I was in and started going on about,"Use protection! Ayeee, let's talk about using protection yeah?" to him HAHAHA, I couldn't stop laughing. But yeah, we watched Paranormal Activity 2... that film wasn't casj... it wasn't as bad as the first one, but it wasn't scary as the first one LOL. The first one made me physically sick due to camera angles and it was really scary at the end LOL ._.

And ummmmmmm yeah, make out session... LMAO I won't go into details about that only that we were making out for more than an hour and a half... LOOOOL. -.- And his room got really hot! .-. I didn't want to take my cardigan off because of my scars on my arms but he was like,"I don't care about your scars, you're beautiful the way you are" blah blah blah, LOL shut up. And um yeah... lost track of time, ended up leaving around 10pm, bare stalling and all, and I was like,"I need to go!" and he was like,"Until you get off of me" HAHAHAHA. /rolls eyes.

And um yeah, he took me home again, how sweet of him. :3 Got home around 10.50pm? HAHA, started acting like a good girl and did all the chores and what not and my mom was like,"Why are you being so helpful today?" and I was like,"Because, I have to do it everyday :)" HAHAHHA .___. I just didn't wanted to get shouted at for coming home past my curfew ;-; HAHA. :3

And 'tis all. Can't wait to see him again! (: ♥

You and I ♥

Anything That You Need { ♥ }

2011-08-11T23:09:00.005+01:00

Listening to: K. Young - With You Feat. Yung Berg

Mood: Okay

Time: 11.10pm

Mmmmmmm! Been a busy week so far for me. Monday started with Cheryl and Stephanie's karaoke, which may I say was really fun! And so drama-filled~ So um, Anna came down to my place to get ready for karaoke, mom came home early due to riots happening in Hackney. London Riots... gosh, well, it's over now, which is a good thing. I hope it's over! Um... so we took the back ways to get to central, 73 and switched to the 19, and met him at Trocadero entrance. Jheeeeeze, he looked fly. Too much for duhh empress. ;) Haha! Me, him and Anna walked to Traf and met up with everyone else! Uhh, too much people to name so yeah. HAHA. Our group split into two, and me and him were pretending we didn't have something going on so people didn't suspect much :P We were on the bus and he kept kicking me .-. Idiot.

So we finally arrived and rejoined with the other group, he came up to me and was like,"Where should we sit?" HAHA~ Femi and Robert called me over so I went to sit with them and he sat with two friends he made haha. He then later joined over with me and me, Robert and Femi were having bare jokes, Daryll later on joined and we were all singing along karaoke and what not. Herwina and Mariah kept taking mug shots of usssssssssss! ._. Not casj! And umm, I drank a little too much HAHAHA. I got a little tipsy, and he was looking out for me, how nice of him ♥ Haha :)

I remember I came back from the toilet and I was stumbling across the room and he pulled me over and was like,"You can't even walk straight!" and was like looking after me since then. HAHA. Ian Tang then came along and was like,"You want some tequila?!" And I was like,"YEAH!" and he was like,"She's had too much to drink" but I still went up anyways and pulled him along :3 Haha, the tequila tasted so nasty, and Alex was such an angry drunk ahaha. I poured myself some watermelon alcohol thing, I took a sip and Stephanie drank all of it. Michelle then advised him to take me out at the back for me to cool down a little. I went to the back and HAHA I was like literally all over him ;-;, he was like,"You're not okay, you're gone!", and I kept saying,"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fineeee, watch me walk!" HAHA, and I'd walk for like two seconds and he'd pull me back and was like,"You can't even walk properly!" Well cos he didn't let me ¬¬ And um yeah, I had to go home cos my mom was screaming down the phone that the riots were coming nearing to home and um yeah.

He decided to take me home, even though I was like to him no, LOL. I was like,"Go home! The riots will be after youuuuuuu", midst being drunk/tipsy. HAHA I got all giggly and emotional and one point I was crying LOL oh gosh. ._. Um, yeah, so he took me and Anna home, and Anna stayed for like two days, then I went over to her house and stayed for a night cos her mom made me go, lol, then my mom went on a mad one. -.-

So much for being sisters? I'm sorry, honestly, I am. I didn't want anything to happen with me and him, you can even ask him! From the start I told him I didn't want anything to happen because you liked him too and I really did value our friendship, it seems you don't and rather throw me away because of a guy. Thanks, I guess.

You and I ♥

Just Give Me A Second { ♥ }

2011-08-07T00:27:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Lil' Jeth & Vemedy - 4 Seconds

Mood: Okay, tired.

Time: 0.27am

Today was such a goooood day. Ahh, I loved it. :) But the last bit just ruined everything for me ._.

So, I met up with him again today (: Eeeeeeeeee. He smelt nice. LOLS! Umm, went to Picadilly and bought hair dye! Going to dye my hair tomorrow so you know ;) Hair done, nails done, everything did~ Haha. Any ways, we walked to Soho Square and just sat there and talked, and then me screaming about pigeons HAHA! Dami then called me, and we then went to go Trocadero to get her and Yumi, then Femi, Daryll, Chris, Justin and Malindi came too, and we just jammed and laughed about random things, we all walked towards the shop were Dom was, Chris B then joined later on, then we went to go get food at KFC, but I wanted to go McDonalds, so me, Dami and Yumi and him went to go get some food haha.

Returned back to Trocs to eat, LMAO eating on a slope. :P Then me, him and Dami set off for Angel to go watch Horrible Bosses, only to find out that the tickets were sold out, and the next one was at 10. 10?! 10 IN THE EVENING? Not even! And the film was like 2 hours and something, I'll go home at like 12am something, NOT CASJ! I'd be grounded like, FOR LIFE! Jheeze, not cool.

Dami had to go home so it was just me and him left, and we decided to go up to his block and jam. We were just sitting and talking, haha... going speechless and quiet. I guess we're much more comfortable with each other now? We were holding hands and what not... him hugging me from behind, waddling around like a penguin, hehe! So cuteee. And um yeah, we were just... jamming in the block. xD He kept staring at me ;-;, and I had to look away and try break eye contact, but he kept looking~ Haha, he kept saying,"You're beautiful" "Why should I look anywhere else when I have you?" Ahaha, he's such a sweet talker! /rolls eyes. xD But yeah, I was like hugging him and I didn't want to let go... I like him close to me, wanted him to be close to me for a very long time, but I had to go home ._. Haha, eskimo kisses! Haha it was cute. Very temped to kiss him throughout the whole time we were sitting. Ajkhsdfjkghkjdg, temptations~ And we know this is moving a tad bit too fast, but still. Eeeeeeee ._. I kissed him still! LOL, I'm not going to lie I wasn't too proud of it, but I'm not saying I didn't enjoyed it either, HAHAHA. Bad Sammiie! ._. But yeah, he took me home, it was a shorter journey than the other day, and sgjkghdj I miss him already. ):

You and I ♥

I Want It All { ♥ }

2011-08-05T01:49:00.004+01:00

Listening to: Mademoiselle Yulia - Gimme Gimme

Mood: Really good.

Time: 1.49am

Hmm... so something recently came in my life and has made me really happy I guess. Haha, I feel like a little girl with her small crushes! So I like a guy? I guess. Mmm, he makes me really happy and haha yeah... He think's he's king, haha whatever. I'm Empress :P So yeah, I get butterflies whenever I talk to him and stuff. Haha, this is like all those cutesy stuff you feel when you first like someone huh? I haven't felt like this a really long while, I kinda miss it I guess, lol. (:

So I went out with him yesterday, it was really fun! Even though we didn't do much, it was just a simple.. uhh 'date'? Haha~ We spent most of the time in Hyde Park and just talking about um... anything and everything I guess. It was really cute, like, he kept looking at me and I didn't know what to do so I just looked like away, haha! Ayaa~ He kept making me blushhh! ;3;, silly boy loool xD So sweet of him to take me home too! Haha... I felt bad cos he'd have to take a long journey back home... Lol, but it wasn't too long which was good ^^

Kinda feels like we're rushing into this by a little, so I'm trying my best to slow things down I guess? We're barely anything and we already have small obstacles and barriers -.-, but we'll fight through them right? :) Lol... feels like I've known you forever, even though I just met you! How crazy is that? And we talk like... every second. The moment YOU wake up till the moment we sleep, haha. Hmmm~ :)

Anh dep trai~ I really like you! Anh dep "waaaa"~ hahahaa. ♥

You and I ♥

Maybe It's Not Meant To Be { ♥ }

2011-08-01T01:04:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Esmée Denters

Mood: Tired!

Time: 1.04am

Today was such a fun day! It will be definitly memorable because it was my first time going to the beach with just friends... well, my cousin came along, but still, she's amazing any ways.

So I got to Victoria Station at 10am ON THE DOT, and I couldn't find any one! So I was just standing around next to this time table of trains for about 10 minutes, I saw two guys with a beach ball so I was wondering if they were with us, and they were actually! Yumi and Anna came and found me, and then I saw Matthew, Herwina, George, Gavin and Ying and Chris, then Cheryl and Vera came along! We waited around a bit more just for late comers, and we thought we'd just buy the tickets and if the others came late, we'd leave them... then finally Jonathan and Angel came at the very last minute and we managed to get on the train in time with 5 minutes to spare!

So we were on the train to Margate for an hour and a half, Jordan and his friend (I forgot your name, I'm so sorry!) brought a bucket of KFC and shared with everyone! How nice of them, I brought out chocolates and Herwina brought like loads of snacks! Thanks so much bubbi~ No one bothered to bring anything! Well... some people brought bananas... stupid people LOL, and Chris brought beer... but it was so nasty... Jessica came and joined us at a later station too, like a bosssss.

We finally arrived at the beach around 12.45pm? Or something near 1pm, and I ran to the beach like crazy, put my bag down, layed the towel down and ran to put dip my feet in the water. THE WATER WAS SO COLD! I started screaming and running back to everyone and I just layed on my towel, put my sunglasses on and attempted to tan... that didn't even work. I'm still pale as hell. And yeah, we decided to dig a big hole, and we got Yumi in it and we buried her up to her thighs, she couldn't get out, ahaha! It was hilarious! We then saw our beach ball near the end of the sea... and we were like,"What the hell? How did it get all the way down there?!" It was so far, it was like near the horizon! It's probably in France or Portugal right now, ROFL. Played around in the water, then some of us setted off to look for food~ So we walked along the main road and we used George's GPS to find the nearest KFC, and we saw a really old Primark! Ahaha, it was so out dated~ Jonathan stepped in shit, BARE FOOT. Oh my gosh, the most funniest thing ever.

Ordered a Milkybar Krush'em... it was okay? But I preferred the central one~ It was definitely not worth my £2 ._." Yumi's one tasted like water and soggy oreos~ ;-;! But we jammed in KFC for a bit, me and Jonathan were singing LMAO HAHA, and yeah! Dannie, Kim and Tham were at Primark so we went to go pick them up and went back to our spot in the beach! Played in the water again and went on this wall thing, then walked around it and ahah! It was fun! Then we went back to our spot on the sand, and played spin the bottle. I was dared to kiss George and Jordan, gosh! George was all smiley and stuff and Jordan looked so lost, haha how adorable! I kissed them on the cheek though, didn't have the guts to kiss them on the lips! I don't think I'd ever have the courage to any ways! Everyone was being so boring, choosing truth, and Matthew kept saying,"I DARE YOU TO KISS GEORGE!" or something stupid LOL. So we ended up playing "Have you ever", and it livened up a bit, haha! Fun fun :) We then all had a water fight, well me and few didn't join because I didn't want to get wet due to no spare clothes, LMAO! Silly me~ Everyone looked like they were having fun! We then started to try dry ourselves in the sun in like 5 minutes, whilst I was dancing around HAHA, and we packed our things up and went off back to Central~

We then ate at Misato~ It was around 8pm now, Anna, Jordan's friend (._. not casj, I forgot his name LOL and he told me like three times), Dannie, Kim, Tham and George has already left us by now, and we ended up leaving at like around 9ish? We had to wait so long for a table ;-;, but it was worth it! I was so full! Gee~ Hahaha.

You and I ♥

Could This Be Love? { ♥ }

2011-07-28T02:01:00.004+01:00

Listening to: Syd Tha Kyd - Flashlight

Mood: Okay

Time: 2.01am

Well, the weekend was eventful :) I went to the KPOPTeam concert Feat. Dok2, it was brilliant! I met Dok2, the man himself, gave him a hug and my letter, took pictures and what not, met amazing people! Saw a whole bunch of fit guys. Gosh, JAY DIFFER. YUMM. And his crew! Lil Jeth and Vemedy, Master Kush... What sexy ass people. Yum yum. Had a little rave with Jay Differ after the concert and a street party, chaa ;) Got home around 11.30pm ish? My mom wasn't too angry, which was a good thing :)

I don't know, but we act like a couple. I guess it's kinda gotten to me ever so slightly. With false hopes and all, I feel pretty stupid. I don't know if any thing is real, I can't even tell the difference any more. And seeing you with her again makes me a little sad. Who would think I'd feel this way? I didn't think I'd be bothered at all by it, but I guess I am. I guess the only way I'll get over it is to avoid you. My feelings are completely stupid, it's not even real and I'm letting this get in the way. But the way you act sometimes seems so real, but this is probably just all my delusional thinking. None of this is real. It never was.

KPOP is fucking dead. Fuck KPOP. I officially dislike KPOP, eugh. The KPOPfandom aren't doing it. Obsessed crazy ass little girls who get "wet" from seeing their "oppas" perform. Shit, they don't even know who the hell you are, calm your non existent boobs. K.

You and I ♥

I'm Just Saying With Me You Had Better { ♥ }

2011-07-19T15:25:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Teyana Taylor - Her Room (Marvin's Room Remix)

Mood: Okay

Time: 3.26pm

It's been a while since I've blogged in an appropriate time of the date, ahaha. Maybe I'll feel more of myself in this post.

I don't know why I felt so suddenly depressed when I talked to you. All I did was ask if you were still coming to my party and I felt so down, I felt like I wanted to just break down and cry. I'm not too sure why, but it wasn't a nice feeling. I felt hurt... but because of what? Maybe because I know your hurt? I heard you're feeling better, that's a good sign. :) Hmm... but I'm not going to lie, I can't say I'm not a little disappointed you can't come though, but that's life... move on.

I was thinking about it yesterday. It was so awkward when it was just me, you and her in the shop. Usually, I don't feel this awkward when I'm around couples, but this time it was really awkward. I just didn't know what to do, what to fiddle with, where to look... It was just so awkward. I'm not too sure if you guys felt it too, but shit, I felt like I couldn't do anything at that point and I just wanted to disappear. Also, I'm not going to lie, I am slightly jealous of you two getting together, maybe because you guys fell out and was able to work it out whereas for me, that didn't happen... But, that's okay. I'm fine, haha.

Any who, Ray finally got the One Million cologne I told him to get! Ahah, and he likes it too :)

You and I ♥

It's Like I Always Do This { ♥ }

2011-07-14T04:39:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Auburn - Best Friend

Mood: Tired

Time: 4.39am

4th December 1994 - 6th July 2010.

I can't still believe you're gone. And it's been a whole year and a few days too. I should've made this post last week, I'm so sorry. Sigh, how is it up there? Are you doing good? Much better than you were down here right? ^^ We all miss you Senami, we all do, very much. It's such a shame that God decided to take an angel away from me and I've never got to meet her personally, but it's okay. I'll meet you when I get up there, don't wait too long ♥.

I remember how I met you, on Myspace. You were friends with Molly, Carla, Emi and Lisa. You had a picture of Hyoyeon in her pre-debut days. I checked your profile out and thought,"No way... what a imposter" and messaged you right away about it. You the sent me a picture of yourself and said you were sorry. I told you that you were beautiful and you didn't need to use a celebrity's picture and pretend it's your own. We then got on to better terms, didn't we?

You told me how you moved to China, or was it Japan? Due to family problems. You were so close to me too, Southend in fact... but you weren't having such a great time there were you? Then you found a friend from Australia, she knew exactly how you felt, and you guys became friends. I was really happy for you too ^^, you've finally found someone to confide to, because us friends over here weren't exactly treating you the best. But we all regret that, don't we? We wish you to be back here with us... well, I do, for the most part. Because I was able to see you change, I was able to see you changed for the better and that's what I've loved the most about you, you were a strong girl.

I am so proud to have known you at all. I love and miss you Senami Makino, very much. Wait for me, okay? ♥ Silly me, haha I'm so close to tears and I have a lump in my throat. I think I'll just stop this here before I start crying haha ^^ I do need to get some sleep... it's nearly 5am in here. God better be taking care of you or I'll tell Buddha to give him a talking! Hehe ^^

You and I ♥

No Lies, No Wrongs { ♥ }

2011-07-08T03:50:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Beyoncé - Best Thing I Never Had

Mood: Tired

Time: 3.50am

It seems like such a long time ago... It actually amazes me you still liked me since then. That was three years ago. Three whole years, and you've liked me since then. That's crazy. You even had a girlfriend during those two years that we barely spoke in. Heck, I've had three boyfriends during those three years.

We started arguing yesterday, though. It was our first argument... I think. I'm pretty sure it was. It was because of how I thought when I was 13. I'm 16 now, are you really going to judge my actions when I was 13? I was young, stupid, immature and naive. Who knows what the hell I was thinking. But I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you. I'm sorry for everything I've put you through and you must know that I didn't mean to hurt you in any way.

I was just a stupid young girl back then, but I've learnt my mistakes, I've grown to be a better and wiser person. I'm just not that person any more. I appreciate everything you've done for me, though. Thank you.

I wonder if we'll ever become a thing again. I remember we were the talk of TCW, haha. Or well, the couple of TCW. Haha, memories. Seems so long ago, too. Everyone was jealous, haha, 'twas cool for a while huh? :) But let's just stay friends for now... we'll see what happens in the future.

You and I ♥

It's Too Late { ♥ }

2011-07-04T01:11:00.005+01:00

Listening to: Jennifer Lopez - I'm So Into You Feat. Lil Wayne.

Mood: Pissed/Sad ?

Time: 1.11am

So I'm officially 16 now. Meh, another year closer to death? Lol. Today wasn't exactly one of the best days, but it was okay. On Saturday I spent my day out with the close girlies to Seoul Bakery, mmmm~ Dukkbokki, yummy. :3 Hanged out at Central, met up with some awesome peoples, met Darren, how sweet of him to come down all the way from Manchester :) Cheryl paid for my dinner, ahaha, and Anna slept over. OH, Michelle, Stephanie and myself planked in M&M World too... I guess that'll be the highlights of Saturday.

Sunday, the actual day? HAAAA. I spent the day sleeping, arguing with my ex and this stupid boy, eat out with the family, slept a bit more, woke up to find out that stupid boy told the world I was complaining? Nigguh aint right. Karma is a beautiful thing, I hope it does it's job well for this case. Hopefully the party is better though. The way me and Yumi need to find a hall still though, tsk. :|

I don't know why I cried. I guess it upset me. I don't know. I, ugh. I don't see why I'm even giving this a chance. I don't even know why I'm mad at you either. I know you're busy, I know you have your own life too, so I guess I'll have to accept that, right? I mean, it's not like we talk all the time cos we have all the time in the world... but it's my birthday, can't you make this exception? Ugh. I'm sorry. I know you've got to do your thing, I'm just selfish. Sorry.

You and I ♥

Sweetheart, I'm The Boss { ♥ }

2011-06-29T23:59:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Natalia Kills - Mirrors

Mood: Okay

Time: 11.59pm

I don't even know why I'm still like this. To be honest, getting to know the "new" you recently has changed my views on a lot of things... I really don't like the new you at all, however I'm still stuck with the old you. I loved the old you, the way I still try to force the old you to come out of the new you is ridiculous. I'm obviously insane.

I mean, it feels great to know I'm one of the few people to understand you better and know how you feel, but it hurts me to know you're just following other people and not really what you want to do, or it's how I see it. It's not you at all. Or maybe the fact I can't accept this change, that you're more rebellious, you're more like them, and not who you used to be.

But who am I to complain? I'm more outspoken now, I say whatever is on my mind, I'm not afraid to say what I think. I miss the old us. The sweet and innocent. We're just down two very different pathways aren't we? And as much as I want it, I don't think there's no way we'd cross paths again if we both keep going down these two very different roads. Sucks, doesn't it? Do you think or feel the same too?

I wonder if there is a way things would go back the way it was, but the only way I'd know is if we'd talk, but even that I find it hard to do. You're the only person I find it hard to talk to, why? Hm. I hope we do get to spend some time together soon, I just want to figure you out so I know what I'm going with this, because honestly, I don't want to hurt myself again. I don't want to go down that road again, and I'm sure you wouldn't want me to either.

You and I ♥

So He Had To Learn The Hard Way { ♥ }

2011-06-27T23:33:00.004+01:00

Listening to: Mateo Amarei - That Guy

Mood: Upset.

Time: 11.33pm

I know I fucked up pretty bad. I know it's a utter flop, this whole event. I'm sorry for disappointing you, and everyone else. I know it's all my fault. I know I screwed up. But when I ask for help, do you have to lecture how much I failed? How much I was unorganised? I know, I know! You don't have to tell me.

You call it advice? Don't you think I've learnt my mistakes? It's my first time, I said I thought I could organised it, who knew I wouldn't be able to? Who knew it'll turn out like this? I'm sorry for trusting my friends to do things for me and they wasn't able to. Sorry for trusting people so easily. I should have done everything myself, yes. I know. But I had exams, you have to allow me on that. I was sitting exams that was going to shape my future, how could I prioritise my birthday party over my exams? It's just a birthday party, right?

I wanted it big, I wanted to do something without my parent's help. I didn't want to bother them, I know they're currently financially unstable, so I thought I'd do a ticket system, but who knew it'll be so last minute? Because people who I asked to make them didn't even make them, I had to ask others to do it. I couldn't do it myself, it was too much for just me. I shouldn't have organised something I couldn't handle? Well I thought I could, but you're right, I couldn't. It's just me vs reality. Not me and friends vs reality. And it hit me pretty bad.

Today just wasn't my day. I got stood up for an hour, or the whole day. My party got rejected from the hall, and I'm still waiting for another hall to call me back. I feel to give up and cancel everything. So fucking upset. When I asked for help, you just give me a lecture, thanks friend. I didn't need it, but okay.

You and I ♥

It's Going Down Tonight { ♥ }

2011-06-26T17:27:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Princess Nyah - Take Control

Mood: Okay

Time: 5.27pm

Who are you to say I've changed for the worst? I'm sorry if I'm not that same sweet, quiet, jumpy 12 year old that you've met back then. I'm sorry if you weren't with me to witness the gradual change. For the worst? That I'm more confident in speaking and more outspoken? That I'm not afraid to thump someone if they're going to step to me? That I don't need to hold back what I need to say if I want to prove my point?

Is that for the worst?

I don't think so. I'm not the type to let people walk all over me. I'm not the type to hold back on what I need to say, if it needs to be said, it shall be said. If someone needs a reality check, they'll get it. Sounds rude, but I'm not the type to accept shit. Pure quality please? I don't talk to people who chats shit. I'm not like you to rant it all out on the internet then cry to a friend. Hypocritical you say? Honestly, I use this and my Tumblr for entertainment purposes, it's only to entertain my followers or whoever passes by to read, if they've followed for quite a while, they'll see my change, and they'll definitely know I've already spoken before making a post.

I'm not surprised though. If you dislike the way I'm acting, you must really hate yourself for the way you let people walk all over you. Ta.

In better news, my birthday's next week! And I just won a ticket + fan meet to Dok2's London concert, YE YE! :)

You and I ♥

오빠 믿어도 되지? OK?

2011-06-22T15:32:00.002+01:00

Listening to: 2PM - Put Your Hands Up

Mood: Tired

Time: 3.32pm

Okay I just fell asleep in the bathtub... I thought I'd just say that LOL.

So I met SHINee! They're so tall and flawless, it was amazing. It's such a big thing for them to come down to London, I hope many other KPOP artists follow their footsteps and come down here too! And hopefully not in exam times either. :|

I had my Sociology exam yesterday and my Science exam today, they went okay for last minute cramming ahaha. Quite happy with myself that I didn't find it extremely hard, it wasn't like easy peasy, but I quite liked the paper. Thank you Buddha! Let's hope it's the same for Food Tech tomorrow.

People need to start paying up for my birthday tickets, it's pissing me off LMAO. Ugh, if I don't get up to like around £200 by Monday, I have to cancel my party! And I really don't want to, cos it's going to be really live ._. Ugh, stupid people. I also need to buy a bloody dress for NRA/my birthday. I'm thinking if I should wear the same dress or wear an old dress to NRA and the new one to my birthday? Hm~

Quest Crew was in London for like two days, man what the hell. Who stays in London for two days, you're meant to live your life outttttttt and buy stuff and then visit me because I'm cool :3 LMAO ratings to Poreotics for hanging out with me. Poreotics 1 Quest Crew 0. HAHAHA. I think I might be Quest Crew bias though because their colour is purple... Purple's my favourite colour. :3

Okay, I'm just blogging random shit right now... Wooyoung's hair in Put Your Hands Up is the fucking sex. Blonde suits him, that sexy UNFF. I should take a nap.

You and I ♥

I Wanna Know Why { ♥ }

2011-06-17T21:19:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Blaque - Questions

Mood: Not too good.

Time: 9.19pm

I find it funny my mom lectures me about not having a boyfriend when I don't have one and she starts assuming like I have someone, but when I do have one, she says nothing. Logic? Ugh. It aggravates me when she assumes shit... I mean, does she not know me at all? Methinks so.

If another should come, who's finer than me and she wants to take your love away, would you leave?

You got me feeling so insecure, making me feel like shit, it's just like what the hell Sammiie? Step your game up and get yourself back together. It's not worth this shit and you don't need it. I hate how you can make me feel so worthless to everything and get me to my knees. I hate how you can manipulate my feelings, or you could... I hate everything about you. From your personality to your physical appearance. I hate the fact I used to love you. I hate the fact I love the person you used to be.

Fuck, I hate everything right now. I'm going fucking mental. Ugh.

You and I ♥

Baby How's Your Day? { ♥ }

2011-06-16T01:50:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Ryanimay - My Name Mix

Mood: Tired, slightly

Time: 1.50am

We were in someone's living room, I'm not too sure who's... probably mine, just there was no bed in there, I kind of recognised the orange curtains. We were all chilling on the sofa, laughing away at our conversation. There was many of us, my friends and yours all squeezed on that sofa and two arms chairs beside it. You came to pick me up for dance rehearsal. That smile, I remember it. Gahhh... Me and some of my friends went in your car so you could drive us to rehearsal, we'd meet the rest of your friends there. I don't remember the rest though.

I wish that dream was true. Me, in Ryanimay's car? Oh yes please. Jeez! Ughh. Five more exams. I'm dreading my sciences. Revising every night... sigh. I'm tired. I think I'm going to go sleep now. :3

You and I ♥

It's Always About You { ♥ }

2011-06-14T00:27:00.003+01:00

Listening to: August Rigo - Get Off My Brain

Mood: Good but in pain.

Time: 12.27am

So around half an hour ago was Quest Crew's Ryanimay's birthday. I'm quite glad he spent it in London because it's where I live... but somewhat disappointed I couldn't go see him on his birthday, well one, I don't know where he is, and he's probably clubbing or something right now. I got a bit upset earlier on that I clocked on he was 28. This whole time I thought he was 27 and I guess that was a bit bearable... but he's a good 12 years older than me! Ugh, we can never be. LMAO. Dami said that when I'm 20, he'll be 32 so it's decent. But that's a good four years away, ughh. He probably would think I'm too young any ways, LMAO! I think I'm going to have to drug him and force him to live with me. I joke, that's a bit creepy, LOOL. xD

No, but seriously! He doesn't look 28... and I'm surprised he's not settled down or anything yet, maybe because he looks so young. It's true! When I first saw him, I thought he was like early twenties like Poreotics, but I was waaaaay wrong. Cha~ I hope he had a good birthday along with Quest Crew, Far East Movement and LMFAO, ahh! What a party, I wish I was there too. Would have been so much fun! They seem like such cool people to hang out too! Can't forget Poreotics, but they're in the states now. Aww, I miss them! They were so fun to hang out with. They're hilarious. :)

So I had a Geography exam today, I guess the thought of Ryanimay kept my spirit lifted LOL, I was very happy today, not too much about period pains though. -.-" Any who, I spent my whole day just watching Quest Crew videos to celebrate Ryanimay's birthday as I can't personally go and meet him. ): Boo! I hope I bump into him soon when he's still in London... He needs to update his twitter asap!

You and I ♥

I Don't Want Nobody Else { ♥ }

2011-06-08T21:41:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Hi-Tek - Come Get It

Mood: Really happy!

Time: 9.41pm

I must be the luckiest girl in the world! I saw Poreotics again at their workshop and I didn't even pay! Jheeeeeez!

So Hoang told me it's somewhat their last night in London as Poreotics is setting off to Bournemouth, and after a good half an hour questioning him if I can go to the workshop just to watch for free and it was okay, I set off with Busra and met up with Dami. We saw Chad and Danny but we were kind of scared to talk to them, and I saw Louise, the person who runs No Limit Studios and asked if Hoang was upstairs. We then went up and passed Law, I saw some friends and said hey, Eliza was workin' it! Jeez, that girl ;)

So went back down because it was so hot and it smelt of bio, haha, all you saw was steam coming out of the room! Danggg. So we spoke to Danny and Chad for a bit, and then went to a near by shop to get a drink, and saw Can and Jet Li! Spoke for a bit and walked together back to the studio, went up to watch them practice dancing :)

Saw Charles come out and I said,"Hey Charles!" and he was like,"HEEEEY!" and the people around me was looking like,"Omg that girl knows him..." LOLOL. Yeah blad, we're best friends ;) I got a lot stares when I was just casually talking to them, LOL... So yeah, just watching them and taking pictures, recording Dumbo dancing, hmboy! He's so sick, eeeeeee I love him.

After his session was done, everyone was going crazy and taking pictures, signing and what not, got a picture with Charles and Chad, sexy motherfackers LOL! Yeahh, Law took a video of us saying,"HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!" for his parents, so cute! And yeah... now I'm home!

I'm seriously the luckiest girl in the world :3333

You and I ♥

No Commitment { ♥ }

2011-06-06T23:59:00.002+01:00

Listening to: The Millionaires - Prom Dress

Mood: Excited!

Time: 12.00am

Today was just so EEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I loved it. Let's begin with my day!

So I had my maths exam, I found it okay, I skipped like three questions? The last A* questions, then yeah... I didn't find it TOO hard, but everyone found it ridiculously hard or something? It couldn't have been that hard? :3

After my exam, Hoang called me and he gave the phone to Dumbo from Poreotics... YES I SPOKE TO DUMBO FROM POREOTICS ON THE PHONE! And I was just speechless, he gave the phone back to Hoang and I just screamed. Me and Busra took the bus to central and roamed around Picadilly circus trying to find Wagamama where they ate, but gave up and thought to go to Ken to call Hoang, when I was about to use his phone, Hoang texted me to go Big Ben, and I went off to Big Ben and Busra left me ):

So I was roaming around Westminister, passed Big Ben and it was nearly 6pm and I was going to give up, I told myself if I didn't see them by London Eye, I'm going to go home, as I walked towards London Eye, I saw someone familiar, I SAW DUMBO. I was like, oh my gosh, then I saw Hoang, hugged him, got introduced to Poreotics and yeah, toured around London with them, Can was just popping and locking everywhere! We went down to Big Ben where Law and Dumbo did the Big Ben trick where you pretend to lean on the clock? So cute! We sort of left Chad on the other side of the road, he looked at us like,"What the fuck guys? You left me!" So adorable... we then went to Westminister Abbey, whilst walking there, we were just talking so many pictures and Danny and Chad came by my side and said,"Go talk to Dumbo! He's all alone!", and I was like,"Nooo! I'm shy!" and Chad goes,"YO DUMBO! SAMMIIE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!" I was like,"AHH!" and hid behind Hoang, he then came by and was like,"What's up?" and we talked for a bit, and when we crossed the road, the car was going to run us over, and Dumbo was like, AHHHHHHHHHHHH! LMAO! He screamed like a girl! It gave me a heart attack, and he pat my shoulder and was like,"Shhh!" ROFL! What a loser! We then arrived to Westminster Abbey and the bell was ringing, Charles and Can were like punching and kicking the air as if they were hitting the bells, it was so jokes! Charles and his hunger! How cute!

We then set foot off to Buckingham Palace, and me and Chad were like a few metres behind the rest of them because I waited behind for him to take pictures, and we kind of had like alone time and we talked a bit, he's such a sweetheart! I swear, he's going to be my ultimate favourite Poreotic... We walked through some thingy Iuno, and Poreotics were messing with these guards, so jokes! Justin nearly got sliced by the sword! We should have recorded that ahaha. Oh my gosh, Dumbo is just so adorable! Eeeee. Chad's smile is the cutest, jeez. Charles was just like,"DUDE! HE GOT A FUCKING SWORD, DON'T GO NEAR HIM!" And he was like to the guard,"We're really sorry!!" and Law was just mimicking the guard,"SWISH, SWISH! I CHOP YOUR ARM MAYNE!" HAHAHA xD We finally got to Buckingham Palace, took loads of pictures and sat down to rest for a bit.

Then carried on walking to Victoria and took the train to Stockwell to No Limits Studio, the train was so packed! Ahaha, I was next to Chad and Law ;) Law and Charles were like,"I like your shoes, Glam... Glam Pie?" I was like,"YEAH! They're Pastries!" and Law was like,"Pastries? Can you eat them?", and I was like,"LOL no...", and he goes,"They're not really good pastries then huh?" and whenever the train stopped Dumbo would go,"ARE WE MEANT TO BE STAWPPINNNN'?!" LOL and Chad and Law kept falling on me hehhe ;) We then arrived and Danny and Louise, the person who's in charge of the studio organised the times Dumbo and Chad could teach, I don't know if I'm going to go cos I totally suck at dancing -.- I'm so rusty! It's awful ): Any ways, we made our way back to the station and Hoang asked everyone to get together so I could take a photo, and Dumbo was like,"Get in the photo Sammiie!" so I was like,"Oh! Okieee", and Hoang took the photo, then this random guy was like,"That picture no good, you should be in there too!" and he took the photo with me, Hoang and Poreotics, ahaha amazing!

We then took the train back to Euston, but I stayed till Finsbury, Charles told me to sit next to him and Chad. :') AWWYEEEE! And ahaha, Chad fell asleep and all of them were just foot rapping Chad, how jokes! Justin, Dominic and Can were doing these weird things with their fringes, it was so jokes! Ahahah, Dumbo was sitting all by himself, tutting :3 Probably thinking of a set to teach on Weds, how dedicated. ♥

Today was so amazing, they all hugged me and hi5'd me in the end, and EEEEEE. I need to revise for Science tomorrow!

You and I ♥

We're Ten Thousand Miles Apart { ♥ }

2011-06-04T17:13:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Rihanna - California King Bed

Mood: ...

Time: 5.13pm

Sometimes, I just want to cry all my pain away, but I don't want to seem like such a weak person to any one, especially you. I don't want you to know I'm crying over you because I'm stupid, or anything equivalent. I don't want you to know I'm still upset over all of this. I don't want you to know anything. I just want you to know that I'm "fine" and I'll be okay so you don't worry over me.

I don't want to be selfish, but I don't want you with anyone else. Sad, isn't it? It hurts to know you wanted to replace me with someone else. But who am I say to that? I thought I could too with someone else, it didn't work out too well. 'Tis hard, isn't it? Why is everything so complicated and confusing for us? Why couldn't we just move on with life, go down two very different pathways and maybe in the future we'll cross paths again and laugh about how silly we were when we were younger.

But nothing's a fairy tale, nothing's rainbows and unicorns. I hate you sometimes for making me feel like this, but I'm too scared to admit I still... yeah. I wonder how long I have to go through this and when will this just all end.

I met some new friends yesterday, funny enough, they all knew her. I don't know why, but when I saw them mention her name on my news feed, I swear I felt pain in my heart... just ever so slightly. I don't even know who she is, I have no right to feel this way towards her, but I do. She seems to still very much like you though, or they wouldn't have start that thing with Angel, right? I mean, she started crying at Expo too. She'd probably have treated you better than me, she seems like a nice girl, not like me though, I'm way too much of a bitch. I'm awful.

You and I ♥

Take Off All Your Clothes { ♥ }

2011-06-03T23:37:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Jon Chea & Illmillion - No Strings

Mood: Tired

Time: 11.37pm

KPOP night as wooooooooooooooow! Jeez, I don't know if this one was better than the last one, because well... they had more dance-able songs I guess. It definitely was more fun with all my friends dancing in a circle and what not... there was no stupid bboy circle which was a good thing too! And less people were on their phones texting. However, the party died pretty early, like around 9pm and I think it was cos of the contestants performing, iuno. They were good, but they mainly sang ballads so yeah, I guess it kind of killed the hype. I'm very happy that Cherelle won! She definitely deserved it! Joanna's mom was not doing it. :| She was stealing stickers and putting them on Joanna's thing, not cool! Karma did well!

Later went down to Trocadero and went pretty "kray kray" - in the words of Phuong :P dancing, sitting, talking, eating, LMAO. Ayyyyeeee. I jumped on Stella then she grabbed my vagina. LMAO oh my gosh, my scream. I think she was meant to grab my ass, but grabbed my vagina instead, HMBOY LMAO! xD My feeeeeet hurt so much, my white shoes ): They died boy... all blick rofl, dear.

I don't know what's wrong with you, or what's wrong with me... but it feels like there still that tension, or maybe awkwardness between us. I don't want it there. I just want to be your friend again, like you said, rebuild our friendship. Iuno, maybe you don't want a hug, maybe it doesn't mean a lot to you, but hugs mean a lot to me and you couldn't even give me one properly. I guess hugs are like the welcoming in a friendship/relationship/whatever. And not being able to give me one properly tells me you're not ready to welcome me in your life... again. Iuno, maybe I'm over thinking this. I'll keep in mind to not hug you next time, I guess.

You and I ♥

We Never Worked It Out { ♥ }

2011-06-01T20:36:00.004+01:00

Listening to: Life Is Too Short - Mya

Mood: Okay

Time: 8.36pm

I wonder if you're going to read this post lol.

So I had a dream of you... I lowkey wished it was real. We went shopping, holding hands and just talking. We went to some Apple store and whilst you browsed around I sat down because I was tired then all these youngers came out from no where, I recognised some of them from Expo and funny how they were all guys as well. I could see you were lowkey jealous so I came over to you and asked if you were okay, you smiled and nodded a little, so I asked,"Are you sure?" And you smiled again and said,"Yeah" and planted a kiss on my nose. Lol.

Just let it ride, move on,

Let bygones be bygones, that`s what I gotta do

Just let it breathe, cuz life is too damn short to be wasted hating you

Cause when it gets down to it, I still love you

Gets down to it, I'm thankful for the times you were here

Gets down to it, I still adore you

Gets down to it, & life is too short for tears

You and I ♥

I Can't Explain It Baby { ♥ }

2011-05-31T15:15:00.004+01:00

Listening to: Lil Eddie - Wanna Be Yours

Mood: Fine

Time: 3.15pm

Whatever. I'm not going to wait around any more, I mean why should I? I've waited for over a year and yet you can't make up your mind if you want to be with me or not still, and you still have feelings for me? Does it make any sense? I swear, you love to fuck with my mind, but I'm over it. I rather be with someone who knows they want to be with me rather with someone who don't know if they want to or not.

I'm playing by my rules now, not yours. I don't need or want your answer any more. I hope you read this. You should probably stop reading my blog now. I don't want anything to do with you any more. I'm done being hurt. And you know the funny thing is? I don't even know why we broke up, but whatever it is, I hope your next girlfriend doesn't do the same mistake I did... whatever I did.

You and I ♥

What Am I Still Here For? { ♥ }

2011-05-31T12:18:00.003+01:00

Listening to: TC - Shattered

Mood: Confused

Time: 12.18pm

Inside I'm So Lost

In The Middle Of My Heart

Is A Battlefield Of Love

I've Been Fighting For Too Long

I guess I'm back to square one, fighting with heart and mind. The only thing that's been on my mind is this. But why? There's other joys in life I could think about but I seem to only focus on this. Maybe because you meant a lot to me. That you were probably the only guy that played the role as my best friend and boyfriend at the same time. That I could depend on you with all types of problems, not just stupid relationship shit... which rarely happened. Like you said, we clicked from the start, but we've seem to have lost that rhythm haven't we? We're out of beat.

I admire your efforts. The fact you still had those feelings all this time but you wanted me to be happy, because me being happy made you happy, and you thought that I'd be happy without you. How would you know? Those conversations? They weren't as near to the ones I'd have with you. But you're not happy now because I'm not happy. Aren't we just in sync? -.-

I feel so fucking stupid. And this stupid song I'm listening to isn't making anything better. I hate being me. I want everything back the way it used to be, if that wasn't too hard...

You Took My Emotions

And Scattered Them On The Ground

So Hard To Just Pick Up

And Moved On With Life Again

You and I ♥

You Could Be The Only One { ♥ }

2011-05-30T00:12:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Vindez - If You Were My Star

Mood: Tired

Time: 00.12am

You still like me after so long, after over a year you still do... You were the one who ended it, you were the one who told me to get over it, you acted like you didn't care any more and I was alone. Now you come back in my life confessing because I forced it out of you, what's up with that? And you agreed to go out with a girl you didn't have feelings for? I don't know what to believe to be honest.

Didn't we have this type of conversation before? History sure does repeat itself doesn't it. So what should I do now? Should I take you back and forget everything that has happened? Or should I ignore everything and move on like nothing happened? Is it fair to the other person? To be honest I don't want to lose him, but I don't want to lose you either? What conflicting feelings.

Yup. I never really got over you. I just kept telling myself I was and believed so. I tucked my feelings away and threw it somewhere, but it was still there. No lie you were still in my mind. I always seem to remember when we were laying in bed and we were mimicking Pokemon, or when I'd sleep in your arms, or something cheesy like that. Everyone says I don't deserve someone like you. I deserve better. But do I?

I don't need to deal with this. I really don't.

You and I ♥

They Is Just X's No O's { ♥ }

2011-05-28T23:05:00.005+01:00

Listening to: Illmillion - Tic Tac Toe

Mood: I don't know.

Time: 11.05pm

I'm only 15. What would I know? We all learn from mistakes, and I definitely learnt from this one. Never again would I trust someone like you. Never again would I let my feelings interfere again. Never again would I think we could rebuild a friendship after something disastrous like that.

However, I just want to thank Erika Vicencio, Tobi Olulode, Qandeel Anjum and Laurent Ancheta. Thank you for being there for me, and letting me cry on you guys, ahaha. I don't know what I'd do if you guys weren't there. You guys are the bestest. :)

You and I ♥

We Aint Living 'Till Morning { ♥ }

2011-05-19T21:09:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Jay Park - Tonight

Mood: Pissed

Time: 9.10pm

What makes you think I'm that same 13 year old girl you've met three years ago? You haven't had a real conversation with me for two years and you "read" my tumblr posts and think I'm still an angry kid?

First of all, you do realise my tumblr is where I express my rants and thoughts? It says it on my fucking page. Maybe I should make it bigger and bold that shit out for you. How dare you base my personality out of a few posts that doesn't even represent half of my life.

Second of all, what does it give you ANY right to judge me when you haven't spoken to me properly? You don't know me. You don't know how I've changed. You weren't there to experience my changes in life so don't come to me say I'm still an angry person. The only thing you know it what used to be me.

So before you jump to conclusions, maybe you should try get to actually know me.

Plain rude.

You and I ♥

Girl I Know What You're Up To { ♥ }

2011-05-02T23:56:00.003+01:00

Listening to: J.Reyez - Little Miss Innocent

Mood: Tired but good!

Time: 11.56pm

So happy today, I met JREYEZ. It all started with Dami trying to call me this morning but didn't get through. I woke up around 12ish and checked JREYEZ's twitter because he said he'll do a meet and greet, and he updated how he'd be in Trafalgar Square at around 2pm, so me and Dami rushed out to Traf, and we was waiting up near the stairs until these boys started screaming,"I FUCKED JREYEZ!" So we followed them and ran down the stairs. I met Kamen, Jesh, Cheryl, Eliza and few other people and we were just crowding around this amazing person that stood before us, JREYEZ. I couldn't believe it, he was just standing in front of me. Pure perfection, apart from a few flaws, but it's all good. ♥

So he asked,"Who hasn't got a picture yet?" And I put my hand up and said,"Meeeee..." and he was like,"Come forward" and gave me this cutest smile ever, and everyone just made room for me to squeeze through to take a picture, epic. I kept taking pictures with him with other people, and then I got him to sign my shoe, and paper of course. Treasured forever! I'm going to get Traphik to sign my other shoe if he comes down to London in October, apparently so. But JREYEZ is definitely coming back to London in October, I can't wait!

His manager Dennis is so cute. He has the most cutest cheeks ever. He's so short and hands on, I loved it. He hugged me tight when we took a picture, ahhhhh. :D JREYEZ seemed too distanced, and probably really scared from all these fan girls and boys bombarding him with paper, pens and cameras. Flash, flash, flash. I was tempted to stalk him to Buckingham Palace, gosh! He's just a walking piece of sex. Unnnnnnf.

So today was Brian Puspos's last day in London and I didn't get to see him. I thought he was going to be here for a month, I guess Hoang gave me false information! Boo... I guess there's always next time. :)

I'm still freaking out, gosh. Aye, perfect day!

You and I ♥

Mentally Erased From My Mind { ♥ }

2011-04-30T19:35:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Jhene Aiko - Expiration Date

Mood: Tired

Time: 7.36pm

4am we began to talk, about something that happened a year ago. Questions were asked, statements were made. Most things were resolved. 5am the conversation ended, with a sincere apologetic hug at 3pm.

I'm glad we've sorted things out and you're my friend again. I really did miss you. I wonder if you did too? It's a been a year when everything happened. Hurtful things were said, the disconnection made. And we never spoke again. Until today. It's just merely a memory now with no feelings attached. I'm glad you came out today to see me. It shows how sincere your apology was and how much you wanted to make it up to me, thank you. I'm sorry for everything hurtful I've done towards to you too. As we've grown a bit since then I hope what happened never happens again. Buddha forbid.

It was nice hanging out with you today, I really did miss hanging out with you like we used to all the time. It reminded me of all the fun times we had before that incident happened. I'm glad you're back in my life, please don't leave.

You and I ♥

And We're Just A Song { ♥ }

2011-04-26T23:59:00.005+01:00

Listening to: JLS - Only Tonight. Feat. Chipmunk

Mood: Meh

Time: 12.00am

Kuromu.: Mhm but at least I can say I tried

' vthuydee ⋆ ;; dumbo.: tried being stubborn?

' vthuydee ⋆ ;; dumbo.: that's not very smart.

Kuromu.: I'm not a very smart person but, I just want to make sure my bestfriend is okay

I really do love her, she's been there for me always, from my highs to my lows. She's always supported me in whatever I do and she believed in me the most when everyone else doubted me. Thank you best friend, I love you Erika Grace Vicencio. ♥

Amazing grace, how sweet, the sound, la la la.

You and I ♥

Where Did You Go? { ♥ }

2011-04-26T19:38:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Jay Park - Abandoned Feat. Dok2

Mood: Excited!

Time: 7.39pm

Ever since Jay Park's MV released a few hours, I can't stop spazzing about Dok2. It's been awhile since I've heard from Dok2 and I'm so happy he's back in the game! Jeez. And he looks fly as ever, so I did a bit more research on him.

Found out he turned 21 last month, March 28th. He stands at 160cm, which is technically my height, which I find is completely adorable. He's like a small bad ass hood rat. And I found out something new too! He's half Korean, quarter Filipino & quarter Spanish. What a sexy mix, unfff. Our babies would look fly. ;) However, I would want some tall genes. LMAO! Ahaha, I kid.

Ahhhhhhhhh. This boy is too fly! I haven't felt this excited since MBLAQ's release of "Y", which was last year, which might I add Joon and Thunder were looking UNNNFFFF.

Can I just nom Dok2 right now? My goodness.

Any ways! Today is my first day back from my spring break, and I have 21(or less) days left to COMPLETE all of my coursework + most revision for upcoming exams, as in 21 days, I'm officially off time table, meaning I'M GRADUATING! Ahhhhh. Exciting, hmm? (: I'm so nervous right now, my exams are just around the corner and I'm not prepared at all. I need to get a grip with myself and focus!

You and I ♥

Nails Done, Hair Done, Everything Did { ♥ }

2011-04-18T15:45:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Drake - Fancy

Mood: Good

Time: 3:45pm

So yesterday Darren called and our call lasted for over two hours. o______o. Fucking brain tumour LOL. It just mainly consisted of laughing non stop and Darren trying to whisper and end up laughing. xD It all began when he was trying to ask me why my last name is "Nguyen" on Facebook and he couldn't ask me for a good ten minutes because he was still stuck on "why.. wh... why... wh..." LOL. And he ended up spitting all over his pillow and then he spilt a drink over it. Poor pillow, ahahaha.

And then we carried on whispering about nonsense and laughing under covers. We ended the call around 2am and then he called again saying he wasn't tired, LOL -.-" and carried on talking for another half hour or so. What a douche, lol.

Hmmm... I haven't spoken to you for a while, are you angry?

You and I ♥

All I Want To Do { ♥ }

2011-04-16T01:18:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Jeff Bernat - Lullaby (Cover)

Mood: Tired

Time: 1:18am

Just some gifs I made yesterday at Dami's house. :)

You and I ♥

Sit Down Please, Yeah! { ♥ }

2011-04-12T21:10:00.005+01:00

Listening to: Kagamine Rin & Len - Remote Control

Mood: Good!

Time: 9.11pm

L R L R STOP & DASH & UP SIDE DOWN A B A B B A & S(TART)!

You and I ♥

'Cos I'm Fly Like A Bee { ♥ }

2011-04-10T01:16:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Mann - Buzzin'

Mood: Confused

Time: 1.16am

I don't know what to say, what to do. I need help. I'm a terrible person... a terrible, terrible person.

You have someone, he has someone, so what's the problem there? Fix yourself. He's two years younger than you, so what's the problem? Weren't you the one who said to everyone that you'd never go out someone who's younger than you because "boyfriends" are suppose to be protective therefore they should be taller and older?

It was just one day. Not much just happened any ways, right? Just a normal day hanging out with some friends. So, what's the problem then?

He's your little brother. You told everyone you look at him as a little brother, and not anything more. Is that starting to change? Are you seeing him in a different light? I hope not. I really hope you don't. You know he's taken. You know he's not yours.

But remember when he wasn't any ones? He was free. He liked you then. Why didn't you take him when you had the chance? Why did you let him slip away so easily? Was it because of his age? The people that knew him? What was it? Nothing should have stopped you. If you liked him that much, you should have just went for him. But now it's too late, he's gone. He's not yours to claim any more.

And you, you have someone. Aren't you happy with him? Are you not satisfied with him? Is it because of distance? Is it because the fact that he may never ever come to visit you? That you may never get to see him? That's the reason, isn't it? Oh, what will we do?

You and I ♥

Tonight Might Change { ♥ }

2011-04-03T11:25:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Michael Carreon - Gibberish (Ryan Leslie Cover) (Rewritten Duet)

Mood: Good

Time: 11.25am

I know we haven't been on such good terms lately, or the past few years more like... But I want to thank you for everything you've done for me. Thank you for not ditching me before I was born. I know it was hard times raising me up, I'm sorry for everything I've caused.

Thank you for the food, the shelter, the care, love and support you've given me in these 16 years of my life. I know we have our ups and downs, but what family relationship doesn't? We'll all get over it any ways. We're family, right?

I hope today will be a good day. I love you ♥. Happy Mother's Day ^^

You and I ♥

Turn It Up, Turn It Up { ♥ }

2011-03-29T17:31:00.004+01:00

Listening to: Daryll & Maribelle Anes - Fired Up Feat. Mark Agustin

Mood: Annoyed.

Time: 5.31pm

Why are you shouting at me for? I haven't seen you all day, so what is your reason to get annoyed at me? What the fuck did I do this time? Do you have minutes to waste so you'll call me just so I can hear your ranting? Don't think I'm scared to hang up on you mother. I know you're my mother, but I won't take bullshit from you or from anyone. I'm sick and tired of the shit you put me through, and I won't have it. Honest to Buddha, I seem to resent you more and more every single day.

Whenever you feel bored, you lash out on me. And for what? Just to satisfy your boredom. My brother is never home that's why you never lash out on him, and when you do, you know he won't hesitate to throw something at you. You're scared to lose him, not me. When I ran away, did you even care? The only thing that went through your mind was,"She's living with a guy, I know it". Even when I needed you the most, you still doubted me. You cried on the phone to me to get me to come back home, were they even real? I bet not. But when he leaves for a day, you get all worried and start calling up all his friends, waking ME up from my sleep just to go search for him. Remember when you woke me up that day? I had school in a few hours, yet you woke me up just to call him to get home. I got called plenty of names that night/morning. I started crying cos he hurt me, and then you said,"Why are you crying? You're a pathetic person to be considered a sister or daughter". I missed out a day on education because I didn't get enough sleep and I know I wouldn't be learning because I'd be sleeping in class. And not only that, I was too upset to go anywhere anyway, thanks to you.

It's not good enough is it? Me, being who I am, not your 'ideal daughter'. Well you know what, fuck you. I'm tired of living up to your expectations, your expectations ain't getting me anywhere in life. And you're definitely not helping either.

What did I do to deserve this...

You and I ♥

Yessir I'm A Beast, Can't Tame That { ♥ }

2011-03-25T23:51:00.003Z

Listening to: KP - Bang Feat. Lost Generation

Mood: Annoyed

Time: 11.51pm

I'm so sick and tired of this. Everyday. Constant complaining on how I am. I just want to be left alone and that's not even possible. I can't get my own privacy in my own room. I always have to be intruded by my mom and brother because they want to use the computer, they want to watch TV, they want to talk, they want to pick on me.

They always mock me. To the way I talk, to the way I act. Whenever my mom talks to me, our conversation consists of me screaming at her and her making fun of me. My mom then brings my brother in conversation and they both make fun of me. Why? What's so funny about me? Does my anger satisfy you? I don't seem to understand.

I really can't stand this. I have exams to worry about, I don't need emotional stress, especially from my family. They should be the least of my worries. I guess I've become slightly immune to them now. I can't be bothered to react to them any more. I wonder if they noticed? I'm quiet around them, I hardly ever say anything. I refuse to display any type of emotion around them because anything would make them pick on me, even the slightest thing. Anything.

I can't wait to move out. I hope soon. Really soon.

Another day, same shit. The cycle continues.

You and I ♥

Are You Just What I Need? { ♥ }

2011-03-20T15:28:00.003Z

Listening to: City Boy of Illmocity - She Got Me Feat. Alo

Mood: Okay

Time: 3.28pm

Sorry just doesn't seem to cut it any more. Before, sorry would be the only word to be said and everything would be okay, everything would be fine. The way it's been over used made it lose it's sincere meaning. People keep saying 'sorry' but time and time again, they'd repeat their faults. Now tell me how are you sorry?

I try to make effort in this friendship of ours but I just keep getting turned down again and again. I make space for you in my life just for you to cancel out on me. Why would I put in effort in you ever again? Why would I waste my time trying to plan something for us to enjoy just for you to cancel on me time and time again? The first occasion was fine. The second was understandable. The third was okay. The fourth was gettin' out of hand. The fifth, sixth, seventh, the list goes on. I lost trust and faith in you and you come back to me like nothing ever happened and think the word 'sorry' would make it everything okay? The amount of times you said sorry, do you even know what that means? All I ever hear from you is "sorry, sorry, sorry". Is that all you can ever say?

I thought I'd forgive you, one last time. You made me feel guilty when you said,"I don't want our relationship to end like Laurent's or your other friend". The desperation in your voice of how bad you wanted our friendship to be okay again made me think twice. How could you compare? Our friendship was never like theirs. No friendship is the same.

Though I feel bad, you have to earn your trust again. That's just how it works I guess.

You and I ♥

We Give Them Hell { ♥ }

2011-03-18T23:01:00.003Z

Listening to: AM Kidd - Never Say Goodnight.

Mood: Angry

Time: 11.01pm

The feeling you get when you fall out with a friend when you thought they had your back all this time. It hurts doesn't it?

I'm not even hurt, honestly. I'm more pissed than hurt. I'm just so angry at the fact that you thought sarcasm and rhetorical questions would help our situation. The fact you didn't take the problems I was facing seriously and turned it into a joke. The fact when I asked you for space you just kept on bothering, invading my space. Not allowing me to cool down, making me even more angry to the point where I burst. You like it do't you? When I'm angry? It satisfies you.

And you try to put it on me that I'm exploding over little things? I'm not. Trust me. You keep pushing my buttons, of course I'ma react. I asked for space, you never gave, I explode. It's simple as that. I'm not mad at what you copied and pasted to Tony, I'm annoyed that you embarrassed me like that. It's not meant to be embarrassing? For you it isn't, for me it is. How would you know? You weren't even part of the relationship. Oh that's right. You were just a boy who fell for a girl who fell for his best friend. Oh, and guess what? She never fucking liked you back. Cunt.

Fuck you, friend.

You and I ♥

We Back One More Time { ♥ }

2011-03-16T23:09:00.009Z

Listening to: Big Bang - Tonight

Mood: Good!

Time: 11.09pm

CAMDEN SCHOOL FOR GIRLS SIXTHFORM AND OTHER MOTHERBITCHES WHO DIDN'T THINK I COULDN'T GET INTO WOODHOUSE COLLEGE CAN SUCK MY PUSSY, COS BITCHES, I'VE GOT AN INTERVIEW SO I HAVE MORE CHANCES TO GET IN THAN ALL YOU MOTHERBITCHES, FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAH

So I went home and for a letter for me. I was preparing for the worst because everyone in my school who applied to Woodhouse had gotten rejected as their "distance was unrealistic". I was the only one who hasn't had received the letter, until today. And it said I had an interview next week. I screamed my house down! Gosh, I was so happy. My brother thought we got burgled, and he gave me a hug cos he saw me with the letter. SIBLING LOVEEEEE. C: Hehe.

So happy right now, oh gosh. Screw you hoes who thought I couldn't make it, screw you!

You and I ♥

But Nobody Sees It's Me { ♥ }

2011-03-15T18:42:00.002Z

Listening to: Chrishan - Where Are You Going?

Mood: Okay

Time: 6.43pm

They say that it's your first boyfriend that's usually always in your mind and heart, even if you got over him. I don't think that works for everyone. I don't even think of my first boyfriend, but rather my second... as if, he was my first boyfriend. I don't know. Like, you'd compare your first boyfriend with everyone else right? I seem to compare with my second. My first isn't even in the picture any more. It's just second, second, second. Second boyfriend.

Or maybe because I was in love with him, rather than my first. My first was a bit too rushed, even though I knew him since I was five, but I only got to know him properly within two weeks, whereas my second boyfriend, I got to know him, the real him in a month and a bit. We both got out of a really bad relationship. We both knew where it was going. It wasn't as if we were new to the relationship, but we weren't pro, either. If you understand?

Then again, I was only 14, so how would I know what love is? He was only my second, so it means there would have been a few errors right? Even though it didn't feel like it. I'm sure we weren't doing something right, maybe that's why it ended. So it's likely that it wasn't love, right? Our relationship was probably too inexperienced to understand the concept of 'love'. We were too young to understand anything.

I kept telling myself I'm over him. Over, over, over. To the point that I've started to believe I was, but all I've done was made a temporary wall. My real feelings were just trapped behind it. Am I over him now? I can admit I'm not really. It doesn't mean that I want him back, it's just that the feelings are still there. They don't mean anything, they're just pushed aside, I guess.

It's been 10 months...

You and I ♥

Let Down Your Guard { ♥ }

2011-03-11T22:25:00.003Z

Listening to: Nikki Flores - Rebel

Mood: Good!

Time: 10.25pm

So another school week has ended and there's less time to study for up coming exams! I got A's on both my Sociology and Science exam so far, phew! That's out of the way, 16 more exams to go through! Boo D; Art exam is next! I wonder if I'm ready...

So today I went over to Aaminah's place and she dyed, cut and straightened my hair! Haha, she could've just have me a full on haircut but I didn't want to make a mess at her place, but another time! Haha. I love hanging at her place, it's just... like a get away from my place I 'spose. Hehe. I'm surprised she knows a lot of artists that I know! And we kept saying the same things, in the same way at the same time! We're like the same person in two different bodies. I wonder why she's not my best friend sometimes though, haha. Oh wells...

I got my first rejection from the colleges I applied for yesterday... Aish... I mean, I'm happy at least I was notified, but I guess it hurt because it was a stupid reason why I was rejected... because I lived "too far". Sigh. I'm still debating if I should write an appeal, but I wonder if it's a waste of time because they said not to call them and just write it in writing, but what if they just bin the letter? Waste of my time and effort on trying to persuade them on letting me join their enrolment. Meh, I guess I'll admit defeat, thank you for everyone who has cheered me up though! Me and Georgia are going to burn the school down, harharhar. C:

Even though we hardly talk nowadays due to us being busy with school, I know we're strong enough to stay strong.

You and I ♥

My Heads In The Clouds { ♥ }

2011-03-03T21:01:00.002Z

Listening to: Lil Eddie - Why You Wanna Love Me Now Feat. Heather Bright

Mood: Good

Time: 9.01pm

Three more weeks 'till my first GCSE exam this year guys! Super nervous! Must study hard and stop procrastinating. ._. Then a whole month free from exams! And then the next two months after that, full of exams, exams, exams. Time is going so fast! It's already Spring, and I'm leaving school in three months. That's 12 weeks isn't it? That's not a lot, at all. I should make my revision time table! Haha... when I'm bothered to do it... ._.

Oh, how I'll miss my favourite girls from school, and how I can't wait to get away from certain girls, oh! And meet new people from wherever that's accepting me. Ahh, so nervous, I don't even know which college is going to accept me... I've only have had one responce, and I'm still waiting on the other two. I'm scared! What if no college accepts me? What will I do then? Ahhh~ A little scared and nervous now.

You don't know how special I feel right now. Out of all the girls out there why do you choose me? What makes me stand out? What makes me different from them other girls? I mean, I am just an average plain-Jane I 'spose I can argue. I don't dress up, I'm rather loud, I'm not that girly, I'm quite boyish in some ways and I rarely ever wear make up. I'm just really happy that you chose me in the end. You make me feel so special. Thank you. ♥

You and I ♥

I Don't Care If No One Believes { ♥ }

2011-02-22T16:45:00.002Z

Listening to: Eranatik - Tonight

Mood: Okay

Time: 4.45pm

Patrick Alnas says (16:40)

haha nooo

i was playiiiing

then the strings broke

then they cut me!!

Sammiie Pham says (16:40)

HAHAHA

Patrick Alnas says (16:40)

so i put it away to punish it!

im not speaking to it

Sammiie Pham says (16:40)

LOL

bad guitar!

Patrick Alnas says (16:40)

till it aplogizes

haha

You and I ♥

You Want A New Boy In You? { ♥ }

2011-02-19T22:31:00.003Z

Listening to: New Boyz - Backseat Feat. The Cataracs & Dev

Mood: Fucked.

Time: 10.31pm

Is this how it's going to be? Me not even wanting to stay in my own home? Not feeling comfortable in my own 'suppose' to be comfort zone? And you're suppose to be my family. You're the part of the day where when I come home from a long day, you'd make me happy.

Fuck no.

I rather stay out than stay at home. I hate coming home. I have to go through accusations and being made fun of. Am I an easy target? Does making fun of me really entertain you? Does it satisfy you? Benefiting you? What? So I'm your one man comedy show now? Every time I mess up you make fun of it? I try so fucking hard to please you yet you don't ever appreciate it. You always have to pick out my flaws then bitch about me to my brother. You make me sick. I can't even eat in my own house. And you ask why I never eat? Because you don't allow me to. When I'm hungry when I'm outside, I'm not allowed to eat because I'm "wasting money". I'm not allowed to eat at a specific time because I'd be too full for dinner. You start shouting at me when I don't eat dinner yet my brother never eats dinner but you're never angry at him.

Drug taking? Having sex? Having a boyfriend? And you say you ask me these questions because you don't want me to fail my education? Stop bullshitting. You're only asking me to make fun of me. You like it when I'm angry. It satisfies your fucking ignorant desires. It makes you so happy when I smash things doesn't it? When I start to scream at you, when I start to cry. You love every bit of it.

And you always tell me I'm a smart girl. If so, why would you ask me questions that is so obvious to you? Do I look like a 24/7 prostitute to you? I wear a bit of eye-liner and wear my contacts, you immediately assume I'm sleeping with someone. I stay out longer, you assume I'm drinking and taking drugs. When I say I'm going to a friend's house, or a birthday party, you think I'm lying but I'm actually going to have sex at some whorehouse or something. Is that what you really want? Because if it is, I'll do it. Because at the end of the day, I'm your daughter right? I'm here to fucking please you.

You and I ♥

You're The Only One I See { ♥ }

2011-02-13T23:57:00.003Z

Listening to: Brandon - Girls

Mood: Depressed

Time: 11.57pm

Well, today was pretty hectic, even though dance practice was cancelled, again. But this time was because Femi was hungover, but it was okay! I mean, met some new people. Had some beef with gypsies and had some singing battle with these guys. Pretty sick. :)

You and I ♥

I Think About You Everday { ♥ }

2011-02-09T18:52:00.002Z

Listening to: Jaye Cooley - Over and Over

Mood: Good!

Time: 6.52pm

Happy 29th Monthsary to this blog! Geez, one more month and it'll reach 30 months! Maaaaaaaad. :3

Finally sent of the Valentines letter to oppa yesterday, and had my interview for Camden. Whoaa~ So nervous. But it was okay, I 'spose! Hopefully it wasn't too bad, and they can accept me... please please please. ._. I keep falling asleep in class. Aye. Need to stay awake to finish coursework and be free for Spring break... dang. Tsk, I'm scared for my work. Lmao, procrastinating is not the way! Need to work harder to up my grades, till the very top. Not going to happen, but hey! We'll never know. :3

Central is boring... I don't even go any more and everyone's wondering where I've been. Home, I 'spose, studying for exams, or just not bothered to go out. Hopefully it won't be bad this weekend, got Sharan's birthday party, then maybe dance practice the day after? I wonder if it's warm that day... I want to wear my dress so bad. ._. Haha~ But forreals, it's hella short! Gah, dang.

Hum hum hum. Can't wait till the summer, I get to see you~ ♥

You and I ♥

Blank { ♥ }

2011-01-31T23:37:00.003Z

Listening to: Nujabes - Reflections (Remix)

Mood: Mixed.

Time: 11.37pm

You're getting me all confused now. Why are you confessing? Why are you apologising? Insisting? Can't you quit this game? Stop, please. You have a girlfriend, shouldn't you be treating her, not me? And you go on about how we aren't as close as before, how if it was anyone to blame, it's you. Why you? You say that I've always been the same from the start, I've always been nice and kind, and the person who has changed is you. Why would you put the blame on yourself? I don't know what to think any more. Stop confusing me. I just know I'm not interested any more, and I've stopped playing this game for a long time now. I think it's game over for you now too.

Why? He's such a young age, his friends are too... why would you batter his friend like that? Just after coming out the Mosque? After a peaceful ceremony you go threaten him and his friends? My poor little brother. My bestfraaaaaaaaaaan. ): I hope he's okay, and his friends too. Sigh...

Hm! Valentines day soon~ Might learn a song. :) Hehe ^^

I can't wait to see you! It's a promise, okay oppa? In this lifetime. ♥

You and I ♥

I Just Wanna Dance { ♥ }

2011-01-29T23:15:00.003Z

Listening to: David Guetta - Who's That Chick Feat. Rihanna

Mood: Tired

Time: 11.15pm

So I went to Qandeel's birthday party today! It was such a blast~ Hella cold when outside though ): I got lost because of Chloe's crappy directions! Lmao xD Met Karl, Eric, Zaira, and some other people I forgot their names LMAO. Vanessa, Karla, Chloe and Ronalyn were there :)

So I took the bus to Stratford, and another bus to Upton Park, memories... hmm? Just let them slide :) Got to Qandeel's and mingled with everyone because apparently it was "awkward", so we all got to mingle and then we went downstairs and we all got separated on the couches. There was the ipod/phone music section, the boys, and us, the G's :D Hahaha!

We had cake, then food, and watched a movie, and me, Karla and Vanessa kept screaming randomly just to take the piss :P Haha xD Then we had to go home ): So me, Vanessa, Eric and Karl took the bus to Stratford, Vanessa then went, Karl went to take another bus, and me and Eric hopped on the same bus, then he went and I was alone on the bus. Boo!

Then I got a text from him. (: But he's not answering my messages now. ¬¬ lmao~!

Doubt I'm going L7 tomorrow, I got home really late today. Eeek!

You and I ♥

There's No Place To Fall { ♥ }

2011-01-25T21:53:00.002Z

Listening to: T.I - Castle Walls Feat. Christina Aguilera

Mood: Sad.

Time: 9.53pm

Mom came home today and told me you passed away yesterday. I'm still slightly in shock on how to feel. It's my second to feel like this... from Uncle Cuong to this? Sigh. I thank you for being part of my childhood and help raise me up when my mom needed you. You were my nanny, and my only nanny I ever loved. I didn't like that other woman, it was only you. You took care of me, you fed me, unlike the other woman, she left me starving for hours until my brother came to collect me. Sometimes I'd bring my own food at her place and she'd take it away from me... I wished everyday for you to come pick me up from school, and not her. Only few years ago did I realise why you didn't pick me up anymore, my mom chose the other woman over you. But all is forgiven, right?
When was the last time I saw you? Last year? And you know what hurt the most? The fact when I saw you last year and you gave me a hug, I didn't give you a hug properly, because I didn't recognise you until I got home, because I didn't know it'll be my last hug from you, the last time I was in your arms again. And the shit thing about it is that I can't even spell your name. I'm ashamed of myself that I can't spell it, and I keep forgetting on how to pronounce it. But I remember it now. I'll remember forever. I'm too scared to ask my mom how to spell it, but it's fine. I'll just say your name in my head, over and over again.
Rest in sweet paradise Ba, 24.1.11. Never forgotten. Chau nho ba nhieu nam.

You and I ♥

Won't You Please { ♥ }

2011-01-25T18:01:00.003Z

Listening to: Claude - Take A Second

Mood: Tired.

Time: 6.01pm

Had my second real science exam on unit 5 yesterday. I was all worried, not knowing which formula to apply and the currents and what not before the exam. But when I got to it, it was good! I quite liked it, but I'm sure I made some silly mistakes somewhere. But I hope I get a B or more :) Currently revising for Sociology... real exam tomorrow morning. Aish~ Wish me luck!

I'm happy you're back. Even though I know we won't talk as much, but I hope when you're done with college, work, and it's break. We can talk like normal~ Oh, the day I wait for that ._. I love our conversations, it's so sad that it's limiting isn't it? Because either of us are always so busy. Busy busy busy bee~ Ah, I can't wait to see you! Hmm. :) Expect a really big hug from me haha ^^.

I give up. I won't bother on the relationship we have. Keep me as a friend or not, I actually don't care anymore. I'm done trying to give effort in this friendship, because honestly, I'm always giving effort, where's yours? Not here, but fucking there.

You and I ♥

I Hate Our Relationship Is Over The Phone { ♥ }

2011-01-23T17:39:00.002Z

Listening to: Eponym & Esta - Distance (Feat. Jeff Bernat)

Mood: Hmm.

Time: 5.39pm

I haven't felt like this for a while... and I'm not so confident to post this on Tumblr, so hello to you blog. ^^

I treated you so bad, and I regret it. For what? I don't even know. I assume things and judge you when you've never done anything wrong and I regret it all. It's sad to think you're ignoring me when you could be busy, like all the other times I thought you were ignoring me. I've said sorry how many times now? So many times. But time just keeps to repeat it self, over and over again.

I said before it was going to be our last goodbye, but it wasn't, was it? How many times have I said that? Three, four times? But I can't get enough of you. You're like a drug I need. My daily dose of talking to someone. I just want to talk to you and only you... but why you? Why not someone else? But my doses are insufficient lately. I haven't spoken to you since new years. I feel my body drained and not functioning properly, but I'm coping. I've kept myself busy with school, studying and what not. I try not to think too much so I don't become sad.

Times alone really do make you feel alone. The thought seems to dig deeper into my skull telling me that I am alone. I do envy people who have someone to lean on, a personal companion that they call their own, because really, I have no one to call my own, but myself.

But I won't cry this time. What's the reason for it? The reasons behind my tears? You? Ahah. No, maybe myself. I over think too much. I want you here. Now. Please.

You and I ♥

No Matter Where You Are { ♥ }

2011-01-15T20:33:00.003Z

Listening to: Matt Cab - She Got Away

Mood: Awesome!

Time: 8.34pm

So today I woke up at around 8am and still came late meeting up with John, Alex and the others at 10.30... I came at 10.50, haha. But it's cool! I met some new people, Nicole, Melissa & Richard, and we waited for Erika but she never came in the end, and so we left anyways.

We took the wrong train so we had to get off at Gidea Park? And change at Romford to get to Upminister, and took a bus and got there. We saw a whole bunch of asian mans and I was like,"Oh hell no do I want to go here now :|" So we finally went in, and had to split up, even though we rejoined like shortly after ROFL and looked around. We first went to Psychology, and had to sit through a 30 minute talk. I thought we'd just walk in, get a leaflet and ask around, but no! Ahh... it seemed interesting though, but I didn't like the mini lecture, pfft... We then went to Maths, asked around, got leaflets and then went to Art. I then saw Aahkin gor! He was by himself so I told him to join me, we all then went to Computing and I bought a drink and cupcake for 50p. Haha, cheap ey? 'Twas a donation, so I thought might as well :) I didn't really want the cupcake, so I gave it to Richard and then I met Chris! He was helping in the ICT/Computing department, and yeah. Me, John and Richard went to the science department and Nicole, Melissa and Alex went somewhere else, and Aahkin gor left to see his brother. Me, John and Richard sat through this man lecturing about Physics and Electronics, and it was so boring, the way he spoke was like some old Professor... well he was one, LMAO and I was drawing on my phone cos I was so bored and when the guy said,"If you have any questions" I left LOL.

We all then met at the reception and I saw Vanessa, Karla and Trisha! Catch up on a bit with life and then I had to go because the others were waiting. We took a bus to Romford, and there was this part of the bus journey where it was like Hail & Rail Sector, and that was pretty sick. You just randomly stick your hand out or press the bell and the bus will stop, without needing the bus stop. Live! And we then went to a buffet, Alex paid like a quarter for me, he's so nice! And we ate loadsss, and we started chucking food at each other, putting food in each others coats/bags, and John was taking as much food as he can and putting it in tissue and into his bag. LOOL, this boy is not serious!

We then left and us girls hid from the boys, and they bare left us like we didn't exist! Stupid guys, and Alex threw wet tissue at us LOL, and we then bumped into Vanessa, Karla and Chris again! Talked a bit and then we went to the mall and Nessa, Karla & Chris went the other way. We kept going into phone shops and checking the phones out, playing around with them and then we went into Boots. We started spraying One Million on each other and putting make up on Alex, turning him into Ke$ha and got kicked out LOOL, we then saw a car and Alex wanted to take a picture with us in it, so John opened the door and we all hoped in, John went in the driver seat and me, Alex and Melissa were at the back, John just gets in and goes,"I'ma driveeee!" and some guy comes and opens the door and goes,"Get out" LOOOOL and we all ran out and walked off somewhere else. HAHA xD

We visited more shops, got drinks and waited for a bus. Took the 5 bus and 'twas a long journey ride. I was trying to stay awake, I was so tired. ): And then Nicole hopped off first to go to her Nan's, and the rest of us stayed on till somewhere, and all got off. We all then tried to plan how we all went home with someone, and we took a bus going towards Canning Town and on the way, I wiped a sausage from John's "takeaway" on Alex's neck and Alex got some random chicken and chips box from the floor and through it on John ad it hit Richard LMAOOO. Oh my goshh. That was so funny. And then John went off and 'twas just me, Richard and Alex. Richard and Alex then dropped me at my stop, even though I went on the wrong bus, but I still got home in the end. What a day! :)

News spread fast don't they? kmt.

You and I ♥

Can You Hear Me Now? { ♥ }

2011-01-14T22:22:00.002Z

Listening to: Unknown - I'll Find A Way

Mood: Okay

Time: 10.22pm

You act as if we're upper class. Please come back to reality that we're working class. We're not super rich, we don't have a maid, or a butler to make dinner. Mom still works, she doesn't relax at home all day. She works until late and still is able to make dinner for us and feed us, and you still have the nerve to say you don't like ONE dish and don't want to eat altogether as if we're eating cheap food? It's not cheap. And I'm sure mom put a lot of effort to make food for us, to have food the table. There's lots of families that don't even have food everyday and yet you don't appreciate what we have? When are you going to get it in your head? Help the family out? You're fucking 20, unemployed, no qualifications, the most you can do is find a job and help mom out.

You and I ♥

If You Haven't Noticed { ♥ }

2011-01-09T13:53:00.002Z

Listening to: JReyez - You're The One

Mood: Okay

Time: 1.53pm

Ah, so much homework/coursework load. ): But how are y'all? ^^ I'm okay, school's back on for a week now and I'm pretty happy with the grades I've got for my mocks, mainly A's and B's, which is good! What put me down was Maths though, C? Ugh, I thought I did okay enough to get a B, stupid grade boundaries, they're so far apart! ._. At least it's still a pass, neh? ^^

It's new years! And also this blog's 25th month anniversary! I'm sorry I haven't celebrated the last, uhhh... two months, but I've been busy! ): School and exams and what not. I'm quite distracted at the moment, I can't focus on my Food Tech coursework, so here I am blogging and checking rail prices to meet up with Dawn in the summer. ^^

Yesterday I went out to meet up with Sarah and we went to Trocadero underground and just DMC'ed for a while, this security guard came up to us and said,"Are you hiding?"LMAO and tried to conversate with us and then left from failing, it was so weird. We were talking about age differences and a whole load of topics and it ended with religion. And then we went to found Lizbet, and I told Lizbet how Sarah looks like Leah, and someone mistakened Sarah for Leah too haha xD And then we found Randa and jammed with her and met some cool people like Xander, Jamel and this really cool guy which I didn't get to know his name but he's an Asian American and he dances sooooooooo goooood. Oh my gosh! Inspirational! :)

Well, that's pretty much all. Catch me mostly on tumblr! Love you all. (:

You and I ♥

Save Your Tears For A Rainy Day { ♥ }

2011-01-01T15:22:00.004Z

Listening to: Eva - Slow Down (Feat. Lupe Fiasco)

Mood: Okay

Time: 3.22pm

Happy new year everyone! I hope 2011 brings you much more happiness than 2010 did. I hope it does for me too. Well, I had a great start for 2011 though, which is a good thing ^^. Spammed with Happy New Year texts, Youtube singer PattyCakes, or Patrick said he'll take me on a date ;) (YES!), made up with various people and I have a good feeling for 2011. :)

For the past two weeks I haven't done anything but laze about and go out. I haven't done any work, and I feel really bad. I keep procasinating, and I really need to stop. I shall begin to work tomorrow, or probably tonight. I should stop wasting time playing games on Facebook, or writing random posts on Tumblr when I'm bored, and actually use that time to do something useful like revising.

Oh, I can't wait until Easter break, or another break. Ah, I need more time.

As it's the new year, I'm not going to say I'm going to completely change over night, but I'll try get over you this year.

You and I ♥

Hey, Hey, Hey... { ♥ }

2010-12-27T18:30:00.002Z

Listening to: Danny Fernandes - Private Dancer

Mood: Tired

Time: 6.30pm

So today I woke up fairly late and went to Oxford St quite late too. ><>
Then I took the train all the way to Bank, and changed to Monument to try get to Beacontree to go to Karla's. And LOL, oh my gosh, stupid train lines were closed so I went all the way to Liverpool St and wandered around the platforms because I was unsure of which one to go to, LOL. And me having my pride, I didn't want to ask anyone. I then looked at some board saying "Replacement buses between Plaistow - Dagenham East" and I thought,"Fuck this, I'm going to Erika's".
LOL, so I took the central line and got off at Stratford, and when I got out the station I realised the sky was HELLA DARK. So I was like,"No, I'mma just go to her house tomorrow, I needa get something to eat", LMAO. So I was trying to remember the way to get to Morrisons, and the way to get to the 276... I figured it out without looking lost, cos I'm pretty pro. ;)
And yeah! Got on the bus with my Doritos and called up Erika and spoke to her literally the whole way on the bus.
All this, by myself, ROFL. Forever alone.

You and I ♥

I'll Be Gone By Night { ♥ }

2010-12-22T14:07:00.003Z

Listening to: Rihanna - Fading

Mood: Meh.

Time: 2.08pm

The conversation I had with Alex last night... it's true what he said. I haven't gotten over it for eight long months, and to be honest, it didn't feel that long to me. I thought it was just a few odd months, but really in reality, it was eight months. I don't know what to say about this really. I guess that I've been so caught up with the past I haven't been able to let anyone in really... and whenever I did I ended up hurt because I just didn't know how to handle it. I guess I wanted to live in the past, in hope that it'll bring me back what I wanted. But I realised it won't, it'll never will. And all I have to do now is just move on and live with the present, not the past. And if I wanted something, I should do something about it. But I'm scared, I'm scared... I don't know what to do anymore, I need a little guidance, but there isn't a single friend that I know right now that can help me through this. I guess it's more of a little self thing you know? Having to get through on your own.

I don't know when I'll recover, but I just hope soon. I don't really want to be stuck on one person for my whole entire life... Not like jie, she was stuck on him for two years. That's crazy. Imagine being stuck on someone for two years? And at the end of it you'll realise you could have met someone better, and wouldn't hurt you like that.

It's easy being said, but it's not really easy to do...

I really need to let go.

You and I ♥

I'm Ashamed Of Loving You { ♥ }

2010-12-16T18:59:00.002Z

Listening to: Brian Jackson - I Don't Love Her That Way

Mood: Tired

Time: 6.59pm

Three.

Ahh, third day of work experience. Freshie man Irshad(That's how you spell his dumb name ¬¬) bitched behind my back how I wasn't doing anything. And he was telling me to do so much shit! Honestly what the actual fuck :| He was like how I was standing there like a statue and when I was stocking up the shit he was like to my friend,"Does she know what she's doing?" Narr... that's why I'm doing it? Fucking logic.

Lunch was emotional. :| Me and Jo were talking about him. Aish. Memories, I didn't think it would make me so depressed, lol. I don't know, it's weird how talking about him can still give me those feelings as if they were still fresh, in my heart. I don't know how I actually feel about him anymore. To be honest, at times I say I don't like him that way anymore, but really I do. Somewhere deep down, the feelings remain. How to throw them away? How to erase them? It's so hard to forget something so important to me. It's been a while, too...

Ahh. Meh meh. Boys gives my headache, and so does girls. I might as well be a loner haha. :|

You and I ♥

I Like My Beats Fast { ♥ }

2010-12-15T13:06:00.004Z

Listening to: City Boy, Jay Renz & Moc Five - Bass Down Low (Cover)

Mood: Sick. :|

Time: 1.06pm

Two.

Well, I came in earlier than my other friend, but I was sick as hell. I could hardly speak and my whole head was on fire but my body was cold? Fucking -.-

So I did quite a bit of stocking up, had a nice conversation with Michael, got a free lunch too! But apparently we weren't meant to :x. Helped out customers, learnt how to package products in those plastic cases. That was fun xD. Darwid(?) said we did a better job than the other girls on work experience because we actually do work. LOL wtf :|.

Stupid guy called Ershat or whatever his name is said we couldn't have breaks, we had a break anyway, because Danielle said we could, and she's the store manager :) FCKYEA. Anyways, so during my break I went to go have a rest LOL, my head was seriously burning up, and Jobedha called her mom. That Ershat guy started shouting at her and yeah. Said he's going to tell Danielle that we took a break when we're not meant to, when we were :| Fucking prick lmaooo.

So it was time to go home and I asked that guy if I could take a day off tomorrow, he goes,"How do you know you're fever's gone up?" I gave him my wtf face. The most stupid ass question I've ever heard. COURSE YOU'LL KNOW! If you felt okay in the morning and shit after, you'll know there's a change! This dick didn't believe me and said,"I'm going to email Danielle", I said,"Go on then, even better. She knows I'm already sick".

So I called up this morning saying I won't come in today, and Danielle knew I was already sick. In your face twat! :D

You and I ♥

They're Playing Our Song { ♥ }

2010-12-13T18:43:00.002Z

Listening to: Bei Major - One More Chance

Mood: Tired.

Time: 6.43pm

One.

First day of work experience? Hm. Well, I'm going work with a girl I don't like that much anymore, due to some problems that popped up last week. But yup. I think karma bit her a bit today :) She was late, cos you got lost. She spent most of her money on random stuff and ended up having insufficient money on her oyster and lunch. Meh, :)

But yeah, got there quite early, the staff are nice! None of them are mean... yet. Haha, but I've met some really nice people like Rhia, and this other woman with a weird name I can't spell :| And yeah, the first two hours we watched some stupid video about fire and safety and shiz, filled in some questions and sat there waiting for this stupid man called Mohammed to get us, he didn't in the end, so we just went to the store manager Danielle who told us what to do. :) Mohammed dude is so rude! Prick.

And yeah, so we were mainly on top floor for the rest of the day, asking customers if they need help, surprisingly a lot of them did need help o_o. They seemed so clueless LMAO. I was like thinking in my head "How dumb can you get... read the damn label", but meh, they made me kill time anyways. :)

Had lunch, Karrie and Jonathan came to visit meeeee.They're so nice (: Had a nice little chat with them before I had to go back, and they walked me back there too haha xD Then they went to eat icecream, haha lovebirds. ;P

And chyeaaaaaah. Did more work and walking around in the shop, killing time. I spoke to this french lady, who had like no english speaking skills so I had to speak of my forgotten french. :| Oui, oui, non, non, d'accord! She got what she wanted in the end, so 'twas good ;D Cos I'm that pro. :)

And I went home! David called and had a chat, got on the train and now here I am! :) It's like 26 months with this blog now! Happy 26 months~ Yaaaaaay~ :)

You and I ♥

I'm Heading For The Top ♥

2010-11-21T12:17:00.002Z

Listening to: Maribelle Anes - I Wanna Be A Star (Ft. J.Reyez)

Mood: Tired.

Time: 12.17pm

Eventful day yesterday (:
Hungry as hell though. Had a biscuit in the morning from Monoux, free refreshments ;)).
Anyways, so I thought my other friends left me seeming I came out my house pretty late. And I thought I could just go out to Monoux college by myself but I got lost at Leyton so I had to top up to call them .-. Got pretty pissed with myself LMAO. Had like £5 by the end of the day and I used that on food ._.
Got there and saw and hanged with her for the whole day and dictched my school friends cos they kept taking their time and when I looked at something they kept telling me to rush. ¬¬ Might as well just leave 'em. LOL. So I stayed there till like quarter to 1 and took the bus back to Walthamstow Market and met up with Molly :D
Bought awesome Wellingtons! But there were these gingham ones but not in my size ): So I got these spotty ones instead. ^^ They're pretty cool. Hehe~! Then went back to Molly's to make Carla's present, WHICH she forgot to invite me but invited me last minute ): Then again she was pretty sick so meh~ Get well soon Carla!
Finished her present and went off to Carla's! Met some pretty awesome people and we setted off to Nandos in Stratford :) Me and Molly were hungry as well LOL. And if there was any leftovers all of us just split it. LOL. Hungry ass bitches ey? And we got really hyper as well ;33 We kept shouting and screaming. Everyone was giving out table looks and stuff~ OH WELLS. We then 'screamed' happy birthday song out LOL. At the beginning, Megan bought vegetarian dish and was horrible! So I went up and said,"Can I talk to the manager please", and like made a dramatic scene about it with Megan LOOL. Got her money back in the end. ;)
So we drove back and had cake at Carla's! It was pretty epic. The cake was so yummy! But I couldn't eat the icing, it was too much Dx Too sweet~
Got a lift from Molly's mom, ahh~ What a awesome day. Haven't had them socialising days in ages ._. ROFL.

You and I ♥

Make You Melt Like Butter { ♥ }

2010-11-17T18:34:00.002Z

Listening to: Romeo - Drip Drop

Mood: Okay

Time: 6.34pm

So we humans get lonely sometimes. What do we do to keep ourselves busy? Some of us do work, some of us talk to friends, some of us spend time with family, some of us entertain ourselves and some of us keep us busy with the other gender.

It's funny how everyone has a different want to keep their selves occupied when they feel lonely. But what do they do when they have that crave for 'person'? Not anyone in particular, but someone to fit in that space. How would that work?

Maybe I'm doing something like that at the moment. I admit I do miss having someone there who's the opposite gender and that I can talk to about all sorts of things till early in the morning with also a hint of maybe a crush coming along. Long conversations, holding hands, hugging, whatever to satisfy.

So I met this guy back in... May? Yeah. And he's like a pretty chill guy. I've spoken to him a few times around then but started to talk to him more around August-September, and still do. I feel happy when I talk to him. Maybe I do like him, a little. Not strongly, but just a little. I know this guy kinda likes me too... I think. But I know he liked me for quite a while now where as I only recently started to like him... A little. Is it wrong to? Am I only talking to him to 'satisfy' my needs of having another person to fill that gap? Is it selfish?

I don't really want to know the answer. Because I know to me, it is selfish... yet I still do it. But it keeps me happy. So whatever.

You and I ♥

Why Do You Cry? { ♥ }

2010-11-08T16:25:00.003Z

Listening to: Priscilla Renae - Pretty Girl

Mood: Tired

Time: 4.26pm

I haven't blogged lately, I'm sorry guys! I usually do short bloggings on tumblr now, so catch me on there :) http://dearsammiie.tumblr.com
But obviously, for the long lengthy or more personal ones will be here. :)

So Saturday I went to Woodhouse College open day. I love it there! It's pretty nice, quite big. Good facilities, and it's pretty cool I think. Great exam results and all. But the only bad thing about is the distace. 45mins bus ride? Is it worth it? I mean... it's only college... hmmm~ Well, there's other colleges to look out for so it's all good I hope (: So I went to the college with Choi Ha & Le My. And we had tons of fun! Going around to get to know the school. And we saw a whole group of Hackney Free students coming too, like whoa. Haha xD

Then went to Camden to get my school bag, Woodgreen to buy shoes with Anna, and after that I went to her house to sleepover. :)

Aish. My hands are cold. And I can't put my hands into a fists cos I have fake nails on. Sammiie's a bit girly. ;]] hehe. (:

On Sunday, I was the bride's maid for my cousin's wedding. It has its goods points, like fit guys and 12 course meal and whatnot. But I guess I was really annoyed how I was the blame for everything that went bad. What the hell did I do? I didn't do shit. I was the one running around behind the bride. I was the one helping out. I was the one running here and there in the cold in a fucking dress. YET, I get the blamed and accused for things I didn't do? And I get slagged off to the groom's family? Fuck you. And YOU, are fucking nosey. You talk way too much and have no respect whatsoever. Are you literally dumb? That you don't know how to speak to elders properly? Do you not know how to socialise with adults? Argh. And I GET THE BLAME? I was on fucking best behaviour. But hey, whatever. Atleast a hot guy gave me his flower badge. Forever keeping. (:

You and I ♥

Em Sẽ Không Quên { ♥ }

2010-10-27T13:38:00.004+01:00

Listening to: Lil Mindy & Jason - Đôi Mắt (Cover)

Mood: Good :)

Time: 1.38pm

Yesterday was a blast! Ahh what to say, what to say. Well, first off I woke up around 10ish and started to get ready to go Rex's house. LOL. Ah, it took me like a good hour to get to his place. Plus it was raining! FML ._. He lived like right where the Missfits set is, which was pretty cool. I can't wait for it to come back on TV! Season two! Chyeahhh. Anyways, I saw his dog and was like,"No way in hell I'm going in there". LMAO. I thought me and dog could've be friends ): but bloody hell LMAO his dog is HUGE. ROFL. Nahhh man... gosh. xD So he got his dog to go in first, then I went in, then I stood behind him when he let the dog out LOOL. And I got in and went to the living room :) He offered some hard sweet things... idk wtf they were but I was like nah, I'm cool xD And Rex made me give him a massage. -.-" I was like punching his back and he was like,"That's not a massageee" ROFL. Meh, we watched some movie called The Hitcher. Some fucked up movie that was. LMAO. It wasn't scary, not really gory but DUDE THE GUY NEEDS TO DIE. He's like EVERYWHERE. And then he died in the end. Rex gave me some crap massage like. kmt. LOL. It was like proper at the beginning then he just poked me for like 5 seconds and went,"DONE! Can I have another massage :)" Asshole. No way. ROFL.

Then I setted off to Karla's. That was fun! Ahh, so I met Vanessa and Chloe for the first time, haha xD Properly... yeah. xD So I met some of Karla's friends and we were all getting to know each other, while some people... isolated themselves, was talking to a friend I met there called Trisha, cos we were like the ones left out seeming everyone was on the sofa and we were on the chair, but it's cool. Anywho, they missed out but whatever :) We all had food, YUM YUM. The chicken was amazing. xD And this boy called Alex goes,"Sammiie..." I was like,"o.o who called my name?" ROFL And I was like, OH. HAHA XD and he goes,"Do you want to beat up Sia?" So I was like,"Huh? Not really... wait how do you know?" And all of them knew I was Sammiie. LMAO IT WAS SO WEIRD. xD And yeah, talked about Sia for a bit yada yada.

Then we played spin the bottle, I had two truths and Alex kept wasting the chance and asked,"Do you want to be friends with Sia" LMAO. And there was another question from Vanessa and she said,"Out of the boys here, who would you go out with?" I was like,"I don't know... I don't know any of them too well", and Vanessa was like,"Just pick John, he went out with Sia, it could be like revenge or something" LOOL. And the bottle kept landing at me, Vanessa and Alex, sometimes David but meh. LOL Can't really count that. And then we changed the game to "Have you ever...?" And they all asked like dirty questions and things. I dranked to one of them and Roxanne was like,"YOU? SAMMIIE?! I'm stunned ):" ROFL. I know some people weren't drinking to what they shoulda been drinking to. Little liars! LMAO. I was truthful so meh. xD Lee kept drinking to EVERYTHING. And we kinda just stopped playing the game and asked HIM questions seeming as he was saying yes to everything and we were all creeped out one way or another. LOL. Then we went outside and took loads of picturess, and then most of us had to go home.

Me, Vanessa, Alex, John, Cheyenne and David all went home and waited at the bus stop for quite a while and talked about the most randomest things like Kanye West's half an hour video. LOL. I didn't watch it, and I don't intend to either. I mean HALF AN HOUR? And Alex was taking the piss out of it making cawing noises LOL. We then saw Lee and Andrew coming over and we all started moving away LOOL. The bus finally came as Cheyenne predicted and we went to the top and got to the station. We walked past the 'Becontree boys' and me and Vanessa was walking really fast and the others went round to the bars so they were magically protected by the bars. -.- LOL. Pfft. And me and Vanessa ran across the road LOL. We got to the station and Lee and Andrew were buying tickets, this was the chance to run! So the rest of us ran all the way down the platform and we all huddled in a corner and I think it was John who said,"Who's ass is that?" And Vanessa was like bent over for some reason and she goes,"It's mine!" LOOL. xD And we waited like 2 seconds for them to come on, me, Cheyenne and John went on the wrong carriage and I had like 2 seconds to get on the other one. LMAO PHEW! I nearly wasn't able to get to that carriage... xD We saw Andrew's hat by miles. xD

And then we all departed our own ways and went home. Ay, it was a fun day! :) 'Twas nice to meet all of you guys! :) Sorry if I didn't mention all of your names, but please know y'all still loved ♥

You and I ♥

I Keep On Running { ♥ }

2010-10-25T22:14:00.004+01:00

Listening to: Kid Cudi - Erase Me (Cover)

Mood: Tired & hungry.

Time: 10.14pm

Ahh, what a day today. :) I haven't blogged lately, but meh. Here's a post for you guys, hopefully it's a lengthy one.

So I was sleeping and Jo decides to call me and say,"WHERE ARE YOUU?" I told her to come to my house cos I couldn't be bothered lmao xD So she came over and I got ready to go for school. We then started walking and Marsha calls saying for us to hurry up, so we took the bus and I went art while Jo went drama.

So I went art and just touched up my artist research and talked with Kemi & Latreya and experimented with ink :) Ms came over and apologised for Friday cos something happened... and yeah, she was pretty much bumlicking me. Fuck no am I gonna fall that shit. I really do hate the bitch. :T Buh meh, she brought in Fingers and I was nom nom noming them away! :) Then it was lunch time so me and Kemi went to go get chicken and chips from the local chippy shop and went back in, saw Choi Ha on the way, she totally ditched me to go central. Pft. It was already 1pm and we had to go back to class at 1pm... so me and Kemi stayed out and ate LOL. xD Kemi finished first so she went in before me, Jo, Marsha, Melda & Luciene came out so I jammed with them. When I finished I went back in. Finished glueing bits and pieces and then set off to Dalston to collect my contacts :)

Then we went around and thought might as well ask for a Saturday job. Got two places to call us back. Which was good? I mean, cos we're like under age and everything... Anywho, so me and Jo went to this cafe right, and we walked in and the guy gave us this 'sup' nod, and we were about to ask him but these group of guys/boys were sitting there and one of them went,"So whats your name?" and I looked at Jo and she looked back at me and I started making my way to the door and the other guy from the group went,"YOU SCARED THEM AWAYYY". LOOOL xD and I didnt want to go home yet so me and Jo took the 73 and went all the way to Marble Arch and checked out our work place for work experience, on our way there some group of boys were all talking and then they saw us and all their heads turned. LOOL WTF. So we went to Boots... 'Twas cool, tried on some lipgloss and shit. Some security guard thought we were gonna steal something so we just left. LOL. Went into River Island and took some picture :) Tried on some hats and all. Then we went to Selfridges and met up with Choi Ha, Jonny, Steph + Adrian, and met Sanny? I thought she was Maisey, my bad. LOLOL. Oh wells. Got chirpsed by some guy again when walking up to Trocs. LOL -.-

They were a boring bunch "/ So we headed home anyways. And I got David to call me and we had a nice convo :) Sigh, I miss that dudee. And Jobedha was singing to him and stuff, HAHA. JUSTT THE WAYY YOU AREEEEEEE. LOL :D and then we walked it home, and kept singing. Some guy from the car was like proper looking at us like... It was like awkward cos me and Jo were walking here and there as if we were drunk HAHA. xD and when we passed Tasnim's house, these two guys came out of her road and one of them kept looking back at us and was like "You alright?" and we were like "..." and looked in another direction and the guy was like,"Why you looking over there?" and again we were like "..." and he nudged his friend was like,"YOU SCARED THEMM". LMAO. Oh my goshh. xD And they disappeared somewhere and Jo was like,"LOOOL" and I was like,"THAT GUY WAS MULTITASKING XD Walking whilst turning his head backwards" and Jo kept taking the piss outta him. Hahha xD

Went to her house, had toast with chocolate spread and pakooras. Watched TV and yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Went home in the cold around 10pm. Meh! 'Twas a long day. (:

You and I ♥

Turn Me On { ♥ }

2010-10-14T23:27:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Ke$ha - Take It Off

Mood: Tired

Time: 11.27pm

Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen ♥

I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen I ♥ Matthew “Dumbo” Nguyen

Icon is MINE. If I see this shit anywhere I'm killin. My motherfckin' name is on the icon plus I editted so all fckin' credits to fckin' me.

Y'ALL DIG?

You and I ♥

I'm Going, Going, Gone { ♥ }

2010-10-08T22:00:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Far East Movement - Don't Look Now Feat. Keri Hilson

Mood: Good!

Time: 10.00

Last two days were a blast (: So yesterday after school, I met up with Jonathan Laooooooo! (: And we went River Island and looked for boots for him~. So whilst he was looking around, I was just sitting there looking after his bags and shoes ¬¬ and texting Nicole haha xD And yeahh, David then called and we both listened to what bullcrap he was saying :D LOL, I was like,"Yeah we're kinda making out right now. ;))" And Jonathan goes,"Hey, can you call later? Me and Sammiie are kinda busy at the moment..." LOOOL and David goes,"Oh Sammiie is so good at multitasking, I'll just leave you two at it, bye!" LOOL. What an asshole. He's so annoying at times, buh he's bare funny (:

They ran out of his size shoes... again! So me and Jonathan left and we strolled around Oxford St and landed ourselves at Marble Arch and sat on the grass. We got harassed by pigeons twice! They flew over us and like. BLEHHH~ ;-; And yeah, we DMC'd for like a really really long time! For hours and hours~ 'twas a nice talk though (: Haha xD And we saw a lot of funny stuff like some random guy running weirdly, these kids hitting their selves against the pole LOLL. Then we went KFC cos Jonny boyyy was hungry and he then dropped me off the station cos I had to go pick up Jobbyyy ♥

I reached to the end of my road and my mom started shouting at me down the phone ._." So I rang Jobedha to run out her house so we can go to my house and we went home and my mom wasn't angry anymore, she just said I should tell her next time if I'm going out xD Hahah. And we stayed up late till like 2am watching a movie. Woke up around 12pm but officially got out of bed at like quarter to 2. xD We pranked David and yeah. LOL.

We then brushed our teeth, washed our faces, then we had cereal :) CRUNCHY NUT WITH CHOCOLATE~ Yummm. Then we made Brownies, which were nice and chewy ;3 Wahaha xD We then went over to Jo's and hanged at her place, then dropped Yas to Mosque and then went to go pick up the bunny~ It's sooooooooo cuteee. ♥ It's brown and small. It's only 2 months! So adorable, Jobedha was hella scared and I was stroking it. It loves me (: Hehe. I was scared it'll jump out the box and hop around the bus ._. So I left it close most of the time but opened it a few times to stroke it :)

When we walked home, we found really big boxes and took 'em home for the bunny. I named it Coco cos it was a nice brown, so it was officially called Coco Baby. Haha xD And we played around with it, fed it, gave it grass, held it, took pictures, it's just soo cutee. Then I went home. And here I am blogging :) xD

Tomorrow going Camden~ (: Can't wait to see all the good friends again! ♥

You and I ♥

All I Need Is A Sheet And Pen { ♥ }

2010-10-06T19:03:00.003+01:00

Listening to: Jeff Bernat - Me, Myself, & Music.

Mood: Cool.

Time: 7.03pm

Dear Erika Vicencio.

I miss you lots and I wish I can just come over to your house now and talk about everything that I wish I could talk to you about. I hate the fact how you're not a walk away, a phone call away, but a borough away. Train stations away. An hour bus away. I wished you lived down the road. I have so much to say, but MSN, Facebook, and all those other online things don't compare to our talks face to face.

I wish you to be happy and not to be sad~ I don't like reading your blog posts and read about how you feel down. I'm such a bad best friend. I can't even be there when you need me. I'm so sorry. ): But what I can say is, you're beautiful. And nothing should be able to bring that down. Cos they're all just jealous they're not as pretty, and smart, and talented as you. I'm not lying, it's the truth. And clothes? Who cares. It's not about appearance much any ways, it's all about the personality. The inside. The within. And if they can't see that, I think they're blind. And if you're still not satisfied, let's go shopping in Primark. Oh yeah, I said Primark. Cheapest but with good clothes. (: Who said Primark is shit anyways? The whole nation shops there. Because it has wonderful clothes, at low prices. ;)

I miss you very much, bestie. We shall hang out lots in half term, I hope. ♥

Much love from your best friend, Viet Thuy Duong Pham.

xxx

You and I ♥

What I See { ♥ }

2010-09-29T19:46:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Clazziquai - Tell Yourself

Mood: Frustrated.

Time: 7.46pm

Sunday was so fun! :) Been busy these days to blog, but I thought I'd take a break from homework and revision to blog! ^^ So I met up with my cousin and had so much fun! We roamed the whole of Oxford St looking for dresses, bought a network card for my brother, bought BFFL necklaces for ourselves and jammed with John after at Trocs (:

So we watched KBeats make a video... all honestly they were crap. One couldn't dance, one thought she was all that and one can actually dance but maybe because all the others looked crap she didn't bother in putting much effort in because she thought that was the standard? I don't know. But she seemed drained and seemed like she could do more.

Saw Ethan do some amazing spider jumps and this random dance crew dance, it was amazing! Me and Anna really loved the song, we were too shy to ask them though ): But yeah, me, Anna and John then went to go buy some food, then went and saw Linda, hugged, then jammed random places.

Saw Randa and Jonathan and chilled with them, Randa went home to watch Hercules LOL :) Me, Anna, John, Jonathan and Linda then found a secret hide out so he could record Jonathan singing, bless him! He looked so nervous, so me and him were singing it off~ Hopefully he relaxed a bit. But Linda had to go home in the end so we didn't really get to film him~ And John kept making Jonathan laugh so there wasn't any decent video footage. JOHNNY BOY! ROFL. We graffited our names on the walls and we setted off home~

Anna stayed over for dinner and did a little catch up with my mom, we then added our new friends on facebook, and used facebook on Internet Explorer and Google Chrome so we both were on, cos we're GEE! Hehe :)

Been revising and doing a lot of homework lately. Going to a field trip in November, wedding in November too~ Me and Anna are bridemaids :) We were looking for matching dresses~ Gonna go shopping with her on Sunday too ^^ Westfields! With my mom ¬¬. Saturday going Hyper Japan for Art!

I don't know, but I don't want to. I want to reject these feelings. I can't let them show.

You and I ♥

Your Wish Is My Command { ♥ }

2010-09-25T20:41:00.002+01:00

Listening to: Jernade Miah - In And Out

Mood:Good!

Time: 8.41pm

Today was so fun today! Heheh :) So much happened. Waaa~ So I'll just bullet point! I'm too tired to write everything x3

Saw Xiao and friend called Ray? I forgot your name I'm sorry ._.
Hanged with the group! Melody, Sara, Rachael, Jeremy, Yau, David, Asher Nyasha & Kai!
Went to go eat at some korean place~ Had udon stir fry with chicken, yum yum yum! Yau and Nyasha finished some off for me ;3 Rachel then came along after too ^^
Went trocs, met Shanice and India and friend. Did a split headstand and then I made a new move! I did a crab against the wall and walked up the wall and flipped over! Was so awesome haha! xD Learnt a dance and then returned to the crew ;3
Mini picnic in a corner, with cookies, brownies and alcohol ;) WKD!
The crew played chubby bunny, I didn't play so I recorded, and drank all the WKD LOLOL. I went red in the face, was fun xD
Did more headstands and flips.
Tried teaching David how to cwalk. And then cwalked xD
Running around and taking pictures.
Went to KFC, bought oreo krush'ems and had a salt fight with David LOLOL.
Went back to troc and saw Jie, Jordan and few others. Saw Rex earlier too, but I ignored him xD
Went upstairs and played around xD
Went to Chinatown and then saw Jie again.
Went home!

Can't wait for tomorrow! Hehehe xD

You and I ♥